Change

It's been stuck in my head for days now,

A beautiful reminder of a God who causes change -

Who is causing change -

Tiny, slow changes,

For "change takes time".

I have felt it in myself lately,

The slow, little changes,

Changes in the way I feel,

In the things I think of

During those quiet moments,

Walking between tasks,

Taking a moment to breathe,

A moment to be.

I have noticed it in my music,

In the way I've been trying new things,

In a way moving forward,

Writing in a way that's more unique,

A way that speaks more to my heart,

And, hopefully, to the hearts of others,

In a way regressing

To the time a year and a half ago

When I was accidentally using bits of melody for more than one song,

Yet that, too, changed,

Improved,

And I pray that the same will happen again,

That I will continue to grow,

To change,

That, eventually, everything will work out

And end up better than it had been before.

I suppose it's all the change that has this song stuck in my head,

The change that has had me walking around humming,

Staring out car windows singing,

Sitting, thinking.

I remember reading about it on her website,

How that was the song that meant the most to her,

Still, now, though the song was from her first album,

Released in 1998.

It piqued my curiosity.

Since I was on the computer,

I went on YouTube,

Searched for the song,

And listened.

I could see why the song meant so much to her,

A beautiful metaphor,

A picture of an incredible, powerful God

Who brings the slow changes.

It spoke to my heart,

Still does.

That's probably why it's been stuck in my head so much lately,

Lyrics reminding me that He brings change,

That I need change.

River God
by Nichole Nordeman

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you
is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

And when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through

This has been my prayer, too,

That I would be just a little smoother,

That time would bring change,

For I never want to stop changing,

Learning,

Growing,

Because I need change.

"Just a little smoother".

The bold, italicized words are lyrics to the song "River God" by Nichole Nordeman.  Many thanks to this incredible artist for her beautiful music.


 

Thomas & Percy

They found a new fascination a couple of weeks ago,

Pulled out an old cardboard box,

Covered all over with my marker scribblings,

Remnants of earlier years.

In the box were wooden pieces,

Bits of connectible wooden track.

She decided to try to put them together.

He was playing, she was still building

When I walked in.

I started to help,

Ended up building a whole new track,

Which eventually was replaced by another new track,

And another.

I built them Duplo stations and a long overhead,

Played with the layout's complicated switches to make sure the trains could go the right way.

They started asking me every day,

More than every day,

Literally five times a day,

To come play with them.

Still learning my lesson,

I tried to answer yes,

Tried to leave behind all the unchecked items on my to-do list,

Tried to spend precious time with these precious ones.

It wasn't always easy,

Especially when I'd been up until 2 A.M. printing papers and burning CDs,

But I did try,

Because I love them

And because I remember.

I remember the hours I spent playing with that very track,

And the hours that someone else spent playing with me.

Very shortly after I started writing again,

I wrote some songs about my childhood,

Songs about things I used to do when I was little.

One was about the hours spent playing with that track,

The hours he spent playing with me,

A story based on the fading memories of those happy times

And the video evidence I've seen of those many hours,

Videos recorded when I was only three years old.

Thomas & Percy (Playing Trains With Daddy)

I wanna play trains, Daddy.
Will you please build the track?
If you get out the box,
I'll help you unpack.
And will you please play with me,
I don't wanna play alone,
And I wanna spend some time with you,
While you are home.

I'll be Thomas and you can be Percy,
I'll go left and you go right,
I don't think I've ever had this much fun
In my entire life.

You say, “lay the track like a string,
Remember both ends must connect.”
I never realized that before,
Now I can build a track.
And now the track is finished,
The trains are lined up in a row.
I don't care if I get carpet burn,
I'm ready to play, let's go.

Now I am Thomas and you are Percy,
I go left and you go right,
And I know I've never had this much fun
In my entire life.

And later when I go to bed
And you kneel at my bedside,
I will thank God for the chance,
To play trains with you tonight . . .

When I was Thomas and you were Percy,
I went left and you went right,
And I never had that much fun before
In my entire life.
No, I never had that much fun before
In my entire life.

Definitely not the best song I've ever written,

But one that is precious to me

Because it reminds me of when I was little,

When my daddy used to play trains with me,

Spending hours building tracks

And crawling around on the floor playing with me.

It reminds me how much he loves me,

How he cares for me so deeply,

And that is so very precious.

I am so blessed.

 
I've spent hours these past few weeks crawling around on the floor,

Rubbing knees and elbows raw,

Spending time with these little ones I care about,

Trying, and often failing, to be a good sister,

And remembering my own childhood,

Hours spent playing trains with Daddy.

The bold, italicized words are the lyrics to the song "Thomas and Percy (Playing Trains With Daddy)" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.

 

A Moment to Breathe

Last week was crazy.

Tuesday my EP was officially released,

Thursday I was busy all day,

Friday I was gone all day,

And I didn't get much sleep.

I'm still working on catching up.

After all that business,

All that craziness,

It was nice to finally find a moment of peace.

It was such a nice day today,

I went outside to take some pictures.

Of course, my trip was delayed by the fact that the camera batteries didn't work,

And the second set I put in didn't have enough charge either,

And I made the mistake of using the pool table as a flat surface to change batteries on,

So a couple of batteries were temporarily lost.

Finally, though, I got the camera to work.

I put on my shoes and went outside.

I took a lot of pictures,

And I mean a lot of pictures -

Seventy-two, to be exact.

It was nice to go out and just appreciate the beauty of the great outdoors,

The wonder of God's creation,

The hard work of those who garden in their spare time,

The splendor of the sky,

All of this right in my backyard,

Right under my nose,

Yet how often do I take the time to look?

How often do I go outside and witness the glory?

Sometimes it's hard,

With the busyness and craziness,

But sometimes this is just what I need,

To take the time to enjoy a beautiful day,

To thank God for all of His blessings,

To just take a moment to breathe,

A moment to be,

A moment to stand in awe

And praise.

From a Friend

I found the paper recently.

I had finally gotten some help cleaning.

I was in the midst of preparing large piles of unnecessary items

So they could be placed into totes

When I found it on my desk.

I had been thinking about it even before then,

The letter in her handwriting,

A work of art,

Though I don't know if she was the original author.

Still, a touching letter,

A beautiful glimpse of incredible love.

Now that I knew where it was,

I wanted to share that glimpse,

In the hopes that it would touch someone else.

From a Friend

Dear Friend,
     How are you?  I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you.
     I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends.  I waited all day hoping you would want to talk with me, too.  I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you - and I waited.  You never came.  It hurt me - but I still love you because I am your friend.
     I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch your brow so I spilled moonlight upon your face.  Again I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk.  I have so many gifts for you!  You awoke and rushed off to work.  My tears were in the rain.  If you would only listen to me!  I Love You!  I try to tell you in blue skies and the quiet green grass.  I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in colors of flowers, shout it to you in mountain streams, give the birds love songs to sing.  I clothe you with warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature scents.  My love for you is deeper than the ocean, and bigger than the biggest need in your heart!  Ask me!  Talk with me!  Please don't forget me!  I have so much to share with you!
     I won't hassle you any further.  It is your decision.  I have chosen you and I will wait ~ because I love you.
          Your friend,
          Jesus

Humbled by this reminder of pure love,

This reminder of One waiting to talk to me -

Me! -

I can only think one thing:

How often I forget.

  

It's Tuesday!

As of today, my EP is officially released!

I've been looking forward to this day for a long time

And it's finally come!

It was pretty busy,

Aggravating at times (trying to get NoiseTrade to do what I wanted),

But definitely worth it!

All of this is worth it,

The hours in my 80-plus-degree bedroom,

Trying to get good recordings;

The hours bored out of my mind,

With earplugs in my ears

And a book in my lap

Trying not to listen to the sound of my own voice,

Broadcast a cappella through the computer speakers;

The hours of fighting with the printer,

Staying up until 2 A.M.

Just to print out covers & booklets for ten CDs.

It is all worth it.

This is the day when it all comes to fruition,

The day I am blessed with the opportunity to share what I enjoyed creating with others,

To offer my music to those who generally like it better than I do,

So I offer this project to you,

In all its imperfection,

With the hope that you will find something in it that speaks to you,

That speaks to where you are,

That inspires you.

Here is the widget.

You can listen and download for free.

I hope you enjoy it!

Still Holding Me

The last track on the EP is one of my favorites,

Not necessarily because of the words,

But because of the piano part.

It is the first piano part I wrote that I actually liked,

That I enjoyed playing,

That I had fun with.

It might not have been amazing,

But it quickly became my favorite song to play,

And even though it was repetetive,

I never played it the same way twice -

I probably still haven't, to this day,

(And I play this song pretty much every time I sit down at a piano).

I don't mind the words much, either.

I wrote them while I was reading Don't Waste Your Life off the Internet last fall,

When I saw the words "still holding me"

And those words sparked an idea

And I sat down with a composition book and pencil,

Writing the words down,

Not as songs are typically written, with verses and a refrain,

Not an intricate piece with incredibly complex melodies,

But like a hymn,

Verse after verse,

Simple,

Yet, in its own way,

Beautiful.

I am now proud to present

The lyrics to the final track of the EP,

"Still Holding Me":

Still Holding Me
inspired by a sentence in the book Don't Waste Your Life

When the clouds come and hide the sun,
When light ceases to be,
Even in the darkest hour,
He is still holding me.

When the storm comes, and it will,
When rain pours down on me,
His is the promise I'll lean on,
He is still holding me.

When I feel I cannot stand,
When I am just too weak,
I know for sure I'm in His hands,
He is still holding me.

When I'm sinking, sinking quick,
When I can barely breathe,
I just remember He's by my side,
He is still holding me.

When He finally calls me home,
When I, at last, am free,
Then I will finally see the One
Who is still holding me.

Lord, be my conscience, be my guide,
And give me strength to see
That, even in the darkest times,
You are still holding me.

Lord, be my conscience, be my guide,
And give me strength to see
That, even in the darkest times,
You are still holding me.

Through joys and fears
I still believe
You are the One
Still holding me.


The bold, italicized words are the lyrics to the song "Still Holding Me" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.

This post contains the "Artist's Notes" for a song from the EP Pour: Songs of Rain and Rivers.  To view the artist's thoughts about other tracks on this EP, use the links below.
      1. Pour
      2. With Me
      3. River Flow
      4. Peace Like A River
      5. Still Holding Me

 
  

Peace Like a River

This is the one I wrote longest ago.

Thinking about writing and what I'd done so far,

I decided to try an arrangment,

Something not copyrighted, so I wouldn't have to worry about it.

I ended up "re-writing" this song.

It just kind of came to me,

I could change the words just a little,

Add an extra part to each verse.

There are a couple of things I don't like about this arrangment.

It's long and has little variation.

The words are pretty obvious and repeat a lot.

There are quite a few things, though, that I do like.

I did a harmony vocal part for almost every verse of this song.

(I'm not sure how it came out, but it was a good experience.)

I had the opportunity to try writing an arrangement, something I don't usually do.

(I'm not sure if I did a good job or not, but the word changes and extra verses came from the heart.)

I had the opportunity to take a common song and use it express what I feel I sometimes lack -

Without changing the meaning of the song too terribly much.

Of the five tracks, this is the fourth,

Which is interesting, as it is also fourth on my personal "best-to-worst list" (of tracks from this EP),

Though I'm much happier with this one than the fifth on my "best-to-worst list".

I'm pretty satisfied with how the track came out,

And I'm glad to have had the chance to try something new.

Peace Like a River (arrangement)

I need peace like a river,
I need peace like a river,
I need peace like a river in my soul,
I need peace like a river,
I need peace like a river,
I need peace like a river in my soul.

Give me peace, Lord, give me peace,
Give me peace, Lord, give me peace,
Give me peace, Lord, give me peace,
Give me peace like a river in my soul.

I need love like an ocean,
I need love like an ocean,
I need love like an ocean in my soul,
I need love like an ocean,
I need love like an ocean,
I need love like an ocean in my soul.

Give me love, Lord, give me love,
Give me love, Lord, give me love,
Give me love, Lord, give me love,
Give me love like an ocean in my soul.

I need joy like a fountain,
I need joy like a fountain,
I need joy like a fountain in my soul,
I need joy like a fountain,
I need joy like a fountain,
I need joy like a fountain in my soul.

Give me joy, Lord, give me joy,
Give me joy, Lord, give me joy,
Give me joy, Lord, give me joy,
Give me joy like a fountain in my soul.

I need peace never dying,
I need love that o'ertakes all,
I need joy that's overflowing,
In my soul, Lord, in my soul.

Give me peace never dying,
Give me love that o'ertakes all,
Give me joy that's overflowing,
In my soul, Lord, in my soul.

I need peace like a river,
I need love like an ocean,
I need joy like a fountain in my soul.


The italicized, bold words are the lyrics to the song "Peace Like a River", arranged by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.


This post contains the "Artist's Notes" for a song from the EP Pour: Songs of Rain and Rivers.  To view the artist's thoughts about other tracks on this EP, use the links below.
      1. Pour
      2. With Me
      3. River Flow
      4. Peace Like A River
      5. Still Holding Me

 

River Flow

I'm going to take this opportunity to be honest and say that this is the song on my EP I'm least happy with.

In fact, I seriously considered not including it.

In the end, I put it in mostly because of the theme of the project.

I wanted to have two songs about rivers.

It's probably not as bad of a song as I think it is.

I've had people tell me they liked it.

I just don't like it myself,

Which isn't that uncommon, really.

I'm not particularly fond of most of my work.

Still, this is an earlier song,

One I wrote longer ago,

And I feel like I've improved since then,

So I wasn't certain I should include it on this project

Because it made me feel kind of like I was going backwards instead of forwards.

I'm also not sure about the style.

Something about it doesn't quite fit me as well as I'd like it to.

Oh, well.

Like I said, it's probably not as bad as I think it is.

I wrote the song on a bus,

Going on some school trip,

Riding for hours and hours.

We drove past quite a few rivers.

I thought about how beautiful they were

And decided to write a song about it.

It's not as "depressing" as some of my other songs are,

It's not about any kind of deep hurt,

It's just about letting go of the general troubles

And finding peace.

Well, here are the lyrics.

I hope you like it more than I do.

River Flow

Spark'ling, shining water sweet,
Flow, river, flow.
Crisp and clean, fresh and neat,
Flow, river, flow.

River flow, river flow.
Take my troubles with you where'er it is you go.
River flow, river flow.
Leave behind this peace that you know.

Sun shine down upon your face,
Flow, river, flow.
Gentl' and swift with quiet grace,
Flow, river, flow.

River flow, river flow.
Take my troubles with you where'er it is you go.
River flow, river flow.
Leave behind this peace that you know.

Bending, twisting long and wide,
Flow, river, flow.
Your beauty makes me stop and sigh,
Flow, river, flow.

River flow, river flow.
Take my troubles with you where'er it is you go.
River flow, river flow.
Leave behind this peace that you know.

Through mountains and 'cross rolling plains,
Flow, river, flow.
Let me sail with you a ways,
Flow, river, flow.

River flow, river flow.
Take my troubles with you where'er it is you go.
River flow, river flow.
Leave behind this peace that you know.

River flow, river flow.
Take my troubles with you where'er it is you go.
River flow, river flow.
Leave behind this peace that you know.

Flow on, river, flow.


The italicized, bold words are the lyrics to the song "River Flow" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.


This post contains the "Artist's Notes" for a song from the EP Pour: Songs of Rain and Rivers.  To view the artist's thoughts about other tracks on this EP, use the links below.
      1. Pour
      2. With Me
      3. River Flow
      4. Peace Like A River
      5. Still Holding Me

     

With Me

I distinctly remember the night I started writing this song.

I had just gotten back from a Sara Groves concert.

Some of the things she said got me thinking,

Wondering how I would handle being in a difficult situation,

How I would get through the hard stuff,

Now that I'd started writing again.

My overactive imagination suggested that I'd sit down at a piano,

Start to play,

Come up with words and melodies to go along with the accompaniment.

I thought it was an odd idea,

Completely opposite how I normally write.

I always write the lyrics and the melody first,

The accompaniment always comes later,

Or sometimes not at all.

Still, I went with it,

Curious.

I thought about what I would sing,

Sitting at that piano,

What the first words out of my mouth would be.

It kind of just came to me,

"Teardrops fall like rain upon my pillow."

I then discovered that I could turn that idea around,

Switch the rain and the tears,

And still have it rhyme.

"Raindrops fall like tears upon my window."

I felt rather proud of my creative abilities

And spent the next half hour or so trying to come up with a song.

I remember quitting before I had all of the verses in,

Going to bed,

Waking up the next day,

Getting the composition book out,

And erasing most of what I'd written.

I didn't erase the first two lines,

I don't think I erased the refrain,

Though I'm not entirely sure.

I rewrote the first verse,

Wrote the rest of the song,

And decided it was good,

Decided I liked it,

Which is very rare, as I am my worst critic and rarely have good opinions of my songs.

To this day, this is the song I consider to be my favorite.

It was the first I specifically wrote to have a background vocal part.

It was the first I did not finish all in one day.

It was the first I liked.

I showed it to one of my friends at school

Not too long after I'd written it.

She'd asked if I had any special talents.

She read the lyrics and said that it could be a powerful song,

With the right melody and accompaniment.

I don't know if I got the melody and accompaniment right,

But I'm very happy with how it turned out,

And I'm very glad that I finally had the opportunity to record this song.

With Me

Teardrops fall like rain upon my pillow.
Raindrops fall like tears upon my window.
I never wanted to know.
I never wanted to know.

Falling, falling, falling, falling down.
Falling, falling, I can't stop it now.
Will I ever reach the ground?
Will I ever reach the ground?

Are You there? Do You care?
Are You listening to my prayers?
Can You understand somehow?
Are You with me, even here, even now?

This rain is beating on my heart.
These tears are hard to stop once they start.
I never thought I'd be so scarred.
I never thought I'd be so scarred.

Pouring, pouring, pouring, pouring down,
Pouring, pouring, I can't stop it now.
Can I get out from under this cloud?
Can I get out from under this cloud?

Are You there? Do You care?
Are You listening to my prayers?
Can You understand somehow?
Are You with me, even here, even now?

Falling, falling, falling, falling down.
Pouring, pouring, can't stop it now.
Falling, falling, falling, falling down.
I can't stop it now.

Are You there? Do You care?
Are You listening to my prayers?
Can You understand somehow?
Are You with me, even here, even now?

Are You there? Do You care?
Are You listening to my prayers?
Can You understand somehow?
Are You with me, even here, even now?

Even now.
Are You with me now?

(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
Teardrops fall like rain upon my pillow.
(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
Raindrops fall like tears upon my window.
(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
Are You crying, too?
(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
I think You are crying, too.

Oh.
Crying, too.

With me.
(Falling, falling, falling, falling . . . )
You are with me.
(Catch me, catch me, catch me, catch me . . . )
With me.
Stay with me.



The italicized, bold words are the lyrics to the song "With Me" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.


This post contains the "Artist's Notes" for a song from the EP Pour: Songs of Rain and Rivers.  To view the artist's thoughts about other tracks on this EP, use the links below.
      1. Pour
      2. With Me
      3. River Flow
      4. Peace Like A River
      5. Still Holding Me

 

Pour

There is a disclaimer on the inside cover of my EP:

      Please keep in mind that some of the songs on this EP are not about how

             we are supposed to be,

      Rather, they are about how we often are.

The main reason (although there are other reasons) for this disclaimer is the first song,

The title track of the project,

"Pour".

The verses are the main problem.

They tell of duplicity,

Of trying to act like everything's okay

When, really, it feels like the entire world's falling apart.

This is not how we are supposed to be.

Honestly, though, it is how we are.

The refrain and the bridge tell of something else,

Of learning to accept the hard things because they can help us depend more on God,

Draw us closer to Him.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I wrote it this way.

Maybe it's because this is the way it sometimes has to be.

Maybe we need to learn to accept the hard things as gift

Before we can learn to tell others of the pain in our hearts.

Maybe understanding that it's an opportunity to draw closer to God

Has to come before understanding that it's an opportunity to trust in others.

Maybe we just can't do it in our own strength.

Maybe the strength to live transparently has to come from Him. 

It isn't the way we're supposed to be,

But maybe it's one way we can learn.

I'm proud of this song,

In spite of the fact that it tells of how we are not supposed to be,

Or maybe because of that fact,

Maybe because of the honesty,

And it came out so well,

Thunder rumbling in the background,

Accompaniment gently tinkling,

Words speaking of learning to trust,

Learning to draw close,

Even in the hurt.

Pour

On the outside I am trying to pretend that I'm okay.
On the inside I am screaming. God, please make it go away.

On the outside I am trying to pretend I understand.
On the inside I am fighting to remember there's a plan.

On the outside rain is falling and I'm standing here alone.
On the inside You are calling, “I will not let you go.”

So let it pour,
Let it pour.
Pull me closer than I've ever been before.
Let it pour,
Just let it pour.
I wanna be closer than I've ever been before.

On the outside I am trying to pretend I like the rain.
On the inside I am crying. Help me make it through this pain.

On the outside I am trying to pretend I'm well-informed.
On the inside I am fighting to hear You over the storm.

On the outside falling water is melting solid land.
On the inside, somewhere deep down, I know I am in Your hands.

So let it pour,
Let it pour.
Pull me closer than I've ever been before.
Let it pour,
Just let it pour.
I wanna be closer than I've ever been before.

You are God.
You're big enough
To hold my fears,
To hold my tears.

I'm so small,
Still You let me fall
Into Your arms,
Your loving arms.

You are God.
You're big enough
To hold me up,
You hold me up.

I'm so small,
Still, when I fall,
You lift me up,
You lift me up.

You are God.
You love me and
You have a plan,
You have a plan.

I'm so small,
Still You said
You'd help me stand,
You help me stand.

So let it pour,
Let it pour.
Pull me closer than I've ever been before.
Let it pour,
Just let it pour.
I wanna be closer than I've ever been before.

So let it pour,
Let it pour.
Pull me closer than I've ever been before.
Let it pour,
Just let it pour.
I wanna be closer than I've ever been before.

You are God.
You are God.
You are God,
So let it pour.

You are God.
You are God.
You are God,
So let it pour.

Let it pour.
I wanna be closer
To You.

You said, “I will not let you go.”

Closer, closer
To You.

On the outside I am trying to pretend that I'm okay.


The bold, italicized words are the lyrics to the song "Pour" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2010 Mary Schieferstein.


This post contains the "Artist's Notes" for a song from the EP Pour: Songs of Rain and Rivers.  To view the artist's thoughts about other tracks on this EP, use the links below.
      1. Pour
      2. With Me
      3. River Flow
      4. Peace Like A River
      5. Still Holding Me

 

Almost There!

I'm so excited!

The background and harmony vocals finally got recorded a couple of days ago.

Papers were spread out all over my keyboard.

The music stand just didn't cut it.

The thermometer in my non-air-conditioned room read 82 when I started.

When I finished, it read 83.

Still, it was all done.

I transferred the files and moved on to testing my cover and booklet design.

After some tweaking, everything seemed okay.

I folded all of it and slid it into an empty box.

Unfortunately, I was out of clear trays, so I couldn't see how it looked with a tray in.

Still, I was happy with it.

I moved on to burning LightScribe images on discs.

Then Dad helped me mix the last two tracks.

They were finally all finished!

I started burning the music onto the CDs today.

Soon, a box of clear trays will be here

And I will have booklets and covers printed out

And I will put these copies of my EP together,

The culmination of months of hard work.

I'm so excited!

I enjoy doing this so much,

And it's so much fun to see everything come together.

So, the official release date will be next Tuesday,

August 16th.

I will upload the tracks to NoiseTrade then,

Assuming NoiseTrade cooperates.

In the mean time, I have things to work on . . .

Burning more discs,

Updating my bio

And my discography,

Getting the lyrics document ready for NoiseTrade,

Converting all the files into .mp3s for NoiseTrade,

Breaking out the brochure paper,

Printing booklets and covers . . .

And it's all so wonderful!

Even the things I normally would consider boring are now fun

Because I'm so excited that it's almost there,

That my hard work is finally going to be over,

Just in time to begin again.

I'm excited to be able to present this as done,

Then move on to planning my next project,

Start coming up with a tentative track list,

Start working on accompaniments -

I'm excited to do it all over again!

It feels so good to be at this part of the process again,

Almost able to say that I've accomplished something,

Glad to have come so far,

Anticipating going farther.

Well, now that I've said the same thing three or four times, I'll go back to the bottom line(s):

I'm almost done!

The EP will be released Tuesday, August 16th!

I feel more blessed than ever to be able to do this!

Thank

You

So 

Much!!!!!

"Beautiful Ending"

I saw it still standing there,

Empty,

Half an hour or so after I finished using it.

I'd meant to put it back,

Then forgotten it,

So it was still standing there,

Empty.

It reminded me of all I've been thinking about the past few days,

The books, the videos that have reminded me of how important my music is to me,

How much I enjoy it,

How I can't stop.

It reminded me of the song I've had stuck in my head the past few days,

The one I've been humming and singing everywhere,

The one I'd placed on the music stand to learn how to play,

Because something in it speaks to where I am right now,

In this place of searching for answers,

Trying to figure out where I'm supposed to take this gift,

Though I know it could be years before I find the answers I'm looking for,

Trying to figure out how to still put Him first,

Remember that it's not about me,

Trying to go where He wants me to,

Not where I want to,

Because His plan is the beautiful one,

Mine's anything but.

I don't know where You want me to go, 

But I want to follow the path You've laid out for me.

I want to walk by Your side until I reach the end,

And when I do reach the end,

I want to be in Your arms.

I don't know the ending,

But I want it to be beautiful.

So tell me,What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful,
So beautiful?

Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful,
So beautiful.

At the end of it all,
I want to be in Your arms. 
At the end of it all,
I want to be in Your arms.
At the end of it all,
I want to be in Your arms.
At the end of it all,
I want to be in Your arms. 

So tell me,
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful,
So beautiful?

Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful,
So beautiful.

The bold, italicized words are some of the lyrics to "Beautiful Ending", which is written and performed by BarlowGirl.  Many, many thanks to these incredible artists for their amazing music.

Chasing the Wind

I was up late again last night,

Which finally gave me something interesting to blog about.

(Speaking of which, I'm on my second glass of iced tea!)

I'd spent the day surrounded by music . . .

And written words and videos related to music.

I'd been looking up the lyrics to the song I had stuck in my head,

(Still have stuck in my head, as a matter of fact,)

Watching videos about how the band members had changed and grown over the years,

Then I felt like watching The Ultimate Gift,

As much for the music as for the story.

Then, of course, after watching The Ultimate Gift, I had to watch the music video of one of my favorite songs,

Which I then proceeded to sing continuously as I walked through the house,

Turning off equipment and sliding the movie back into its proper place.

Then, of course, it was late,

And so I went to take my shower,

Thinking about music . . .

And pianos . . .

Specifically, an acoustic grand piano . . .

And it was more like fantasizing . . .

If I happened to see an acoustic grand piano, I would want to play it.

If it was sitting there unused,

Just waiting for someone to come,

I would have to play it.

I would sit down and start to press the keys,

Gently, then growing louder,

A melody of eighth notes . . .

And then there would be words . . .

If this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went . . .

'Cause the only way to find real wonder is
By chasing the wind.

Before long, I was sitting on the floor in my room,

Composition book open on my lap,

Turning out phrases,

Writing the words,

Pouring out my emotions about all the difficulties I've been having -

How she doesn't want me to be doing this,

How he's supportive but still thinks I'm not quite good enough at what I'm doing.

Pouring out my feelings about how I can't stop doing this,

How I enjoy doing this,

How I'll never regret doing this.

Never.

Before long, I had a song . . .

Or at least a rough draft of one.

Chasing the Wind

I show her my work
And she just calls it “fine”,
Says the word without
Even meeting my eye.
She pretends to be supportive,
But I can read between the lines.
She doesn't really want
Me to have this in my life.

Maybe she's right,
But I know I can't quit.
Something in me needs
To see this through to the end,

And if this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went,
And if it all amounts to nothing,
I'll still call it a gift,
For I have learned that in my failures
I find I am truly blessed,
And that the only way to live the wonder is
By chasing the wind.

He shows me the ropes,
Helps me learn what to do,
Spends hours with me working,
Faithful, loyal, and true,
Tells people all the famous names
That he compares me to,
Yet still says that in some things
I do not have a clue.

I know he's right,
There is so much I don't know,
But I will keep trying
'Cause I cannot let this go,

And if this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went,
And if it all amounts to nothing,
I'll still call it a gift,
For I have learned that in my failures
I find I am truly blessed,
And that the only way to live the wonder is
By chasing the wind.

Chasing the wind.

I've been searching for the answers.
There is one I've found so far:
You cannot help but use your gifts
Once you discover what they are.

So if this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went,
And if it all amounts to nothing,
I'll still call it a gift,
For I have learned that in my failures
I find I am truly blessed.

If this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went;
If it all amounts to nothing,
I'll still call it a gift,
For I have learned that in my failures
I find I am truly blessed,
And that the only way to live the wonder is
By chasing the wind.

Chasing the wind.

The only way to live the wonder is
By chasing the wind.

I put my composition book on my keyboard,

Slightly askew,

And went back to getting ready for bed,

Tired,

Worn out,

After all, it was well after midnight by the time I finished.

Still, I didn't really mind.

I love to do this,

To sit and write,

To put the words together,

Write the phrases.

I love to play

And sing

And just

Make

Music.

If this road leads to nowhere,
I'll still be glad I went;
If it all amounts to nothing,
I'll still call it a gift,
For I have learned that in my failures
I find I am truly blessed,
And that the only way to live the wonder is
By chasing the wind. 


The bold, italicized words are the lyrics to the song "Chasing the Wind" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2011 Mary Schieferstein.