The Choice

I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long, and that this one will be pretty short.  I've been very busy lately and have been having troubles keeping up with my art, much less my blog.

I made a choice today.

Not a big one,

Not an unexpected one,

Not a difficult one,

But a slightly scary one.

I decided to try two paths instead of just one.

Maybe just for awhile,

Maybe for the next three years.

I don't know,

But I'm going to try two for now.

I've realized I can't do what I've been doing,

I've realized that things I thought would make me a better artist aren't helping me at all,

I've realized that I've been sticking too closely to my plans and not opening myself up to other possibilities like I should be.

So I changed that.

I'm walking two paths now.

This time, I know that one will make me a better indie artist,

Will help me to create better visual art.

The other doesn't help at all,

But maybe it's where I should be?

Honestly, I don't think I've believed that for a long time.

Maybe it's like the first couple of sentences of this post,

That I need a transition,

Something to make the decision less bipolar.

I need something in between I'm doing this and I'm not doing this.

I need the middle step,

The I might be doing this, but, then again, I might not be.

I'm leaning towards the not,

But is that where I should be?

Is that where I'm meant to be?

Is that where He wants me to be?

I feel like He's been hinting lately that change is okay,

That His plan is better than mine,

And that I don't have to know His plan for Him to work it out.

Maybe this change is in the right direction.

If not, at least I'm still walking the first path, too.

Small changes.

Slow changes.

Someday

There'll

Be

Answers.