Upside-Down Fasting

 
She's been talking about it here and here,

And I've been reading,

Seeing how it mirrors what I've been going through.

Ever since I started this,

Took on this challenge,

It's been changing me -

Literally rocking my world.

I don't know how something so simple

Could do so much.

It's Him.

It's all Him.

I was worried that I wasn't really fasting for Lent,

That I didn't have anything good that I could fast from,

That I wouldn't make this a time to know Him,

That it wouldn't draw me closer.

I never imagined that the challenge would do for me what no fast ever has:

It made me want Him -

Want Him in a way I haven't since Passion.

I never realized that I could feel that joy every day,

Walk with Him and know Him,

Desire Him more than anything.

And that's the key, isn't it?

Desiring Him more than anything.

I have found such indescribable joy in Him,

Simply in who He is,

That I find myself losing desire for all other things,

Not caring about what once seemed so important -

For now the smile on my face is so big

That my muscles hurt,

But I can't stop smiling

Just because of who He is.

The really cool thing is,

When I want Him more than anything,

The fasting happens all on its own.

I don't even have to try.

I can walk and talk with Him long past dinnertime and not be hungry,

I can spend all day wanting nothing but His presence,

Forget the homework,

Forget the TV,

Forget every thing I've ever known -

Save Him.  (that's "save" as in "except", just in case the wording made that hard to catch)

He is all I need.

I think there's such worth in planning to fast,

In intentionally sacrificing,

For I know that He has honored those sacrifices,

That He has moved in amazing ways -

Oh, I have heard the stories! -

But I have never experienced that,

Never seen Him move in my fasting -

And I know why.

I wasn't fasting because I wanted Him,

I was fasting out of obligation,

Out of duty.

If I want to give up,

Sacrifice,

And see Him move,

My giving up must start here -

It must start with Him meaning everything to me.

It's funny.

No one ever told me that before.

No one ever explained that I shouldn't intentionally plan to fast unless I was fasting because I wanted Him.

Really, though, it was right in front of me the whole time.

He said it Himself.

He was here in the flesh,

Then He wasn't.

And He said they'd fast when He wasn't,

It implies - doesn't it? -

That they'd fast because they wanted Him back,

Because they wanted Him, 

Wanted to be with Him.

And I am learning this,

Learning that all fasting of worth must be done upside-down, . . .

Or should I say right-side up?

Counting 10,000 Reasons,

Numbers 170-277 (again, not counting today's):

170. He is highly exalted (Exodus 15:1)
171. He hurls horse and driver into the sea (Exodus 15:1)
172. He is our Strength (Exodus 15:2)
173. He is our Defense (Exodus 15:2)
174. He is our Salvation (Exodus 15:2)
175. He is my God (Exodus 15:2)
176. He is a warrior (Exodus 15:3)
177. His right hand is majestic in power (Exodus 15:6)
178. His right hand shatters the enemy (Exodus 15:6)
179. He throws down those who oppose Him (Exodus 15:7)
180. He has great majesty (Exodus 15:7)
181. He unleashes His burning anger (Exodus 15:7)
182. He is majestic in holiness (Exodus 15:11)
183. He is awesome in glory (Exodus 15:11)
184. He works wonders (Exodus 15:11)
185. He causes the earth to swallow His enemies (Exodus 15:12)
186. His love is unfailing (Exodus 15:13)
187. He leads His people (Exodus 15:13)
188. He guides in strength (Exodus 15:13)
189. His power makes the nations fear and tremble (Exodus 15:14-16)
190. The power of His arm holds the nations still (Exodus 15:14-16)
191. He brings His people in and plants them on the mountain of His inheritance (Exodus 15:17)
192. His hands established His sanctuary (Exodus 15:17)
193. He reigns for ever and ever (Exodus 15:18)
194. He makes bitter water fit to drink (Exodus 15:23-25)
195. He issues rulings and instructions (Exodus 15:25)
196. He rains down bread from heaven (Exodus 16:4)
197. He hears grumbling (Exodus 16:6-9)
198. He gives meat to eat in the evening (Exodus 16:8)
199. He gives all the bread you want in the morning (Exodus 16:8)
200. His glory appears in clouds (Exodus 16:10)
201. He fills His people (Exodus 16:11-12)
202. He sends enough quail to cover a camp (Exodus 16:13)
203. He sends dew that turns into bread (Exodus 16:13-16)
204. He gives everyone as much as they need (Exodus 16:15-18)
205. He gives the Sabbath (Exodus 16:29)
206. He provides enough bread for His people to rest on the Sabbath (Exodus 16:29-30)
207. His bread tastes like wafers made with honey – sweet (Exodus 16:31)
208. He gives enough bread to leave some as a remembrance for future generations (Exodus 16:32)
209. He fed His people for forty years (Exodus 16:35)
210. He makes water come from rocks (Exodus 17:5-6)
211. He blots out people's names (Exodus 17:14)
212. He is our Banner (Exodus 17:15-16)
213. He wars against those who lift their hands up against His throne (Exodus 17:16)
214. He is our Helper (Exodus 18:4)
215. He saves (Exodus 18:8)
216. He is greater than all other gods (Exodus 18:10-11)
217. He tells people what to say (Exodus 19:3-6)
218. He carries His people on eagles' wings (Exodus 19:4)
219. He brings His people to Himself (Exodus 19:4)
220. Those who obey Him are His treasured possession (Exodus 19:5)
221. He comes in a dense cloud (Exodus 19:9)
222. He descends in fire (Exodus 19:18)
223. He covers mountains in smoke (Exodus 19:18)
224. He causes mountains to tremble (Exodus 19:18)
225. His voice answers (Exodus 19:19)
226. He breaks out against the unconsecrated who approach Him (Exodus 19:21-22)
227. He brings His people out of slavery (Exodus 20:2)
228. He speaks (Exodus 20:1)
229. He punishes those who hate Him to the third and fourth generation (Exodus 20:5)
230. He shows love to those who love Him to the thousandth generation (Exodus 20:6)
231. He holds no one guiltless who misuses His name (Exodus 20:7)
232. He blessed the Sabbath and made it holy (Exodus 20:11)
233. He gives long life (Exodus 20:12)
234. He comes to test His people (Exodus 20:20)
235. He is to be feared (Exodus 20:20)
236. He comes in thick darkness (Exodus 20:21)
237. He speaks from heaven (Exodus 20:22)
238. He allows people to see that He has spoken from heaven (Exodus 20:22)
239. He demands sacrifices and offerings (Exodus 20:24)
240. He causes His name to be honored (Exodus 20:24)
241. He comes and blesses His people when He causes His name to be honored (Exodus 20:24)
242. He takes away sickness from His worshipers (Exodus 23:25)
243. He establishes the borders of His people (Exodus 23:31)
244. He drives out peoples (Exodus 23:31)
245. He allows some to see Him (Exodus 24:9-11)
246. He chooses not to raise His hand (Exodus 24:11)
247. He gives laws and commandments (Exodus 24:12)
248. His glory settles on mountains (Exodus 24:15-16)
249. He calls from within clouds (Exodus 24:16)
250. His glory is like a consuming fire (Exodus 24:17)
251. He lets people enter His presence (Exodus 24:18)
252. He dwells among His people in His sanctuary (Exodus 25:8)
253. He meets with His people (Exodus 25:22)
254. He speaks to His people (Exodus 29:42)
255. He consecrates places by His glory (Exodus 29:43)
256. He dwells among His people (Exodus 29:45)
257. He rescues His people that He might dwell among them (Exodus 29:46)
258. He fills people with His Spirit (Exodus 31:2-3)
259. He fills people with wisdom (Exodus 31:2-3)
260. He fills people with understanding (Exodus 31:2-3)
261. He fills people with knowledge (Exodus 31:2-3)
262. He gives people skills (Exodus 31:2-3)
263. He appoints (Exodus 31:8)
264. He gives ability (Exodus 31:8)
265. He makes His people holy (Exodus 31:13)
266. He made the heavens and the earth in six days (Exodus 31:17)
267. He makes a covenant with His people (Exodus 31:18)
268. He inscribes His law on stone tablets with His own finger (Exodus 31:18)
269. His anger burns against those who turn away from Him (Exodus 32:7-10)
270. He rescues His people with great power and a mighty hand (Exodus 32:11)
271. He threatens disaster (Exodus 32:10)
272. He listens to the pleas of His servant and relents (Exodus 32:11-14)
273. He commands people to kill brothers and friends and neighbors (Exodus 32:27-28)
274. He sets apart those who stand for Him against their own sons and brothers (Exodus 32:29)
275. He blots people out of His book (Exodus 32:33)
276. His angel goes before His people (Exodus 32:34)
277. He punishes people for their sin when the time is right (Exodus 32:34-35)

 Linking up over here today, the practice of sacrifice (finally, my post matches the prompt!), walking with Him at A Holy Experience.

Please take the time to read some of the other beautiful posts at the bottom of this one.  Maybe drop a comment, too?  It's such grace.

Also, anyone who'd like to join me in counting?

(If not, that's okay, too.  No one did last week.  But just in case . . .)





 

Refocusing

I'd been feeling so distant,

Lost in this darkness

And where was that light I once knew

And how do I get back there?

I hadn't learned,

Had never known

That, sometimes, when you want to get back to something,

If you just zoom in,

Refocus,

You'll find it's been right in front of you the whole time,

Shining brighter than you'd ever dreamed.

I didn't know,

When I started my Lenten challenge,

That it was going to do just that -

Help me zoom in,

Refocus.

It didn't take me long to figure it out, though.

I'd only been counting 10,000 reasons for five days,

Only made it up to 75,

When I posted how it had changed me -

Already how it had changed me.

I can't even describe how much more it changed me

Just to write it,

To tell the incredible story with my keyboard,

To open my eyes again to who He is,

What He's done,

Why I should worship Him.

All I can say is, I wanted to take a walk.

In the middle of the day,

Plenty of homework yet to do,

Friend visiting any minute,

I just wanted to take a walk.

So I did.

It was a beautiful day.

I walked,

Smile on my face,

And I talked -

Not audibly,

Not to anyone I ran into,

Just to Him,

Just in my heart.

I didn't tell Him about me, either -

And, oh, when I talk to Him, it always seems to end up being about me,

About my needs,

Or about the needs of others,

The ever-expanding list of prayer requests.

I know better than to stop praying for those things,

For they are very important,

But relationship isn't praying requests,

Relationship is praying praises,

And that's just what I did.

I walked

And I praised.

You know, I always get bored when I pray a lot.

I always run out of things to pray about,

But something about this was different.

Somehow, it didn't matter if I said the same thing ten,

Twenty,

A hundred times,

Because it was that true,

Because He is that much and more.

So I just praised Him for who He is,

Thanked Him for who He is,

And I wasn't bored at all.

In fact, I felt like I could do it forever.

Praising God gave me the joy my heart was lacking,

Walking with Him filled my heart so full of joy I was sure it would burst -

I'm not speaking metaphorically, either.

I literally thought there was so much joy in my heart that my heart could not possibly continue to contain it all.

I expected it to explode,

Spill over.

It did.

I casually glanced around,

Made sure no one was watching,

(By the way, my next goal is to not look,

To not care who's watching.)

Then I raised my hands,

And my heart sang at the top of its lungs:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
O my soul,
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before,
O my soul,
I'll worship Your holy name.

And the joy just kept coming.

I have never felt so full.

I have never felt so free.

I never want to lose that.

I never want to leave.

It's true.

It's really, really true. 

Psalm 16:11

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Here are my reasons #76-169,

Again, not including today's,

But another week's worth of discovering who God is.

Some of them seem kind of simple,

Repetitive,

But each and every one is helping me see God in a new light,

See Him as He is,

Want Him more and more.

So, for anyone who wants to read:

76. He confirms His oaths (Genesis 26:3)
77. He will not leave until He does what He promises (Genesis 28:15)
78. He sees the unloved (Genesis 29:31)
79. He enables the childless to conceive (Genesis 29:31)
80. He directs (Genesis 31:3)
81. He names (Genesis 35:9)
82. He puts people to death (Genesis 38:7)
83. He grants prosperity (Genesis 39:2)
84. He gives success (Genesis 39:3)
85. He shows kindness (Genesis 39:21)
86. He grants favor (Genesis 39:21)
87. Interpretations belong to Him (Genesis 40:8)
88. He gives answers (Genesis 41:16)
89. He reveals His future actions (Genesis 41:25)
90. He decides firmly (Genesis 41:32)
91. He grants wisdom (Genesis 41:39)
92. He grants discernment (Genesis 41:39)
93. He sends (Genesis 45:7-8)
94. He speaks in visions (Genesis 46:2)
95. He gives everlasting possessions (Genesis 48:4)
96. He is the lifelong shepherd (Genesis 48:15)
97. His hand steadies (Genesis 49:24)
98. He is the Mighty One of Jacob (Genesis 49:24)
99. He is the Shepherd (Genesis 49:24)
100. He is the Rock of Israel (Genesis 49:24)
101. He blesses with blessings of the skies above (Genesis 49:25)
102. He blesses with blessings of the deep springs below (Genesis 49:25)
103. He blesses with blessings of the breast and womb (Genesis 49:25)
104. He uses harm for good, to accomplish His purposes (Genesis 50:20)
105. He hears groaning (Exodus 2:24)
106. He remembers His covenant (Exodus 2:24)
107. He has concern for His people (Exodus 2:25)
108. He sets bushes on fire, yet they don't burn up (Exodus 3:2)
109. He speaks from within bushes (Exodus 3:4)
110. He sees His people's misery (Exodus 3:7)
111. He gives human beings their mouths (Exodus 4:11)
112. He makes people deaf or mute (Exodus 4:11)
113. He gives people sight or makes them blind (Exodus 4:11)
114. He helps people speak (Exodus 4:12)
115. He teaches what to say (Exodus 4:12)
116. His anger burns against people (Exodus 4:14)
117. He gives the power to perform wonders (Exodus 4:21)
118. He hardens people's hearts (Exodus 4:21)
119. He brings trouble on people (Exodus 5:22)
120. His hand is mighty (Exodus 6:1)
121. He is the Lord (Exodus 6:7-8)
122. He multiplies His signs and wonders (Exodus 7:3)
123. He brings mighty acts of judgment (Exodus 7:4)
124. He brings out His divisions, His people (Exodus 7:4)
125. He stretches out His hand against nations (Exodus 7:5)
126. He turns staffs into snakes (Exodus 7:8-10)
127. He turns water into blood (Exodus 7:19-21)
128. He sends plagues of frogs (Exodus 8:1-6)
129. He causes frogs to die (Exodus 8:12-14)
130. He turns dust into gnats (Exodus 8:16-17)
131. He performs wonders that cannot be reproduced (Exodus 8:18)
132. He sends swarms of flies (Exodus 8:21)
133. He makes distinctions between peoples (Exodus 8:22-23)
134. He makes swarms of flies leave (Exodus 8:30-31)
135. He brings terrible sicknesses (Exodus 9:2-4)
136. He sets times (Exodus 9:5)
137. He does things when He has decided He will (Exodus 9:5-6)
138. He turns soot into boil-causing dust (Exodus 9:8-10)
139. There is no one like Him in all the earth (Exodus 9:14)
140. He is capable of wiping peoples from the earth (Exodus 9:15)
141. He raises people up to show His power (Exodus 9:16)
142. He shows His power that His name might be proclaimed (Exodus 9:16)
143. He sends terrible hailstorms (Exodus 9:18-26)
144. He gives warnings (Exodus 9:18-20)
145. The earth is His (Exodus 9:29)
146. He brings locusts to cover the face of the ground (Exodus 10:4-5)
147. He changes the winds (Exodus 10:18)
148. He sends darkness that can be felt (Exodus 10:21-23)
149. He makes people look favorably upon others (Exodus 11:3)
150. He strikes down those whom he chooses (Exodus 11:12)
151. He brings judgment on the gods (Exodus 11:12)
152. He keeps vigil (Exodus 11:42)
153. He rescues (Exodus 12:51)
154. He goes ahead (Exodus 13:21)
155. He travels as a pillar of cloud to guide (Exodus 13:21)
156. He travels as a pillar of fire to give light (Exodus 13:21)
157. He does not leave His place in front of His people (Exodus 13:21-22)
158. He gains glory for Himself (Exodus 14:4)
159. He brings deliverance (Exodus 14:13)
160. He fights for His people (Exodus 14:14)
161. He drives the sea back with a mighty wind (Exodus 14:21)
162. He turns sea into dry ground – dry! not even muddy! (Exodus 14:21-22)
163. He divides waters (Exodus 14:21-22)
164. He throws armies into confusion (Exodus 14:24)
165. He jams the wheels of chariots (Exodus 14:25)
166. He puts the sea back in its place (Exodus 14:26-27)
167. He sweeps people into the sea (Exodus 14:27-28)
168. He guides His people safely through (Exodus 14:29-31)
169. He saves His people from their enemies (Exodus 14:30)

The bold, italicized words are from the song "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman.  Many thanks to this incredible artist for the song which sparked this project.

Linking up at A Holy Experience today.  Walking with Him, focusing on Him - because that's what fasting's all about - more on how my Lenten project ties into fasting coming soon.

Also, check out some of these other beautiful posts.


The 10,000 Reasons Community:

After much debate and much wrestling with my pride,

I've decided to open up a little community space here.

I was worried I'd end up making this about me,

But, ultimately, I realized that I need to do this

Because this needs to be about Him

And how to help people know Him more,

And I believe this is the best way to do that.

One person has already expressed her desire to take on the challenge,

So, as long as one other person wants to do this with me,

I will open up space here for everyone to connect.

If you want to dig into God with us,

Find God-Centric reasons to worship Him,

Find an in-context Scripture verse for each one,

Write a post about what you're doing,

Share how it's changing you,

How you know Him more,

Then feel free to add your link here,

So we can read each other's stories,

Know Him better through sharing,

Be encouraged to keep digging,

Keep blessing Him simply for who He is.

This place is for you.

God bless you!

The 10,000 Reasons Challenge

 
Just wanted to sum up my Lenten challenge here,

Provide the simple explanation without the need to dig through my endless words:

"[H]ere's my Lenten goal,

Not really a fast, but a refocusing:

• To count a minimum of 10 reasons - 10 God-centric reasons - each and every day during this season to worship God, including (but not necessarily limited to) aspects of His character and displays of His power.
• To find one Scripture reference for each reason so that I know I'm not just making this up, making sure that the Scripture supports the reason when taken in context.
• To let this exercise bring me closer to God, that I might know Him better and know Him for who He is, that I might worship the God of the Bible, not some idol I've formed in my mind through the things I've heard and my own misconceptions."