"No matter where I am, your teachings fill me with songs." - Psalm 119:54 (CEV)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

After the Dome - Passion 2012

I suppose all good things must come to an end.

We loaded the vans and headed home.

I was somewhat surprised that I didn't want to leave.

As much as I love my family, I would rather have stayed there,

Spending every moment of every day

Worshiping God,

Learning about God,

Discussing God,

Doing God's work.

Before I knew it, we were back.

I went home,


Read my Bible.

I got into bed at 5 A.M.

I woke up about eight hours later

Feeling different than I've ever felt

Any morning of my life.

I woke up and my sole desire,

My only thought,

My highest priority

Was to praise God.

I was literally lying in bed,

Hand stretched out above my head,



So in love,

So in awe.

It was incredible.

I'd never felt that way before.

Even more incredible,

I actually wanted to get out of bed.

That never, ever happens.

I am in no way, shape, or form a "morning person".

I like to get about ten hours of sleep a night, whenever possible.

Not that time.

I wanted to get out of bed.

I wanted to go live

And praise God

And serve God.

It was incredible!

I'd never felt that close to God before.

Even a few days later,

Going to church Sunday night,

I was still so in awe,

So in love,

That, when I walked through the doors late,

Heard the band playing,

The people singing "Set Free",

I was literally walking in,


Raising my hand,

And jumping up and down

At the same time.

(I don't usually do that either, though I have been known to on occasion . . .)

I was just so happy to be there,

So happy to have been able to come to praise God,

That I couldn't hold it in.

It was amazing!

Apparently, all those lights are people's iPhone 4s on some kind of strobe light setting.  It looked pretty cool.

Even though I'd been praying for days that it wouldn't,

The spiritual high wore off.

I suppose it was kind of inevitable.

After all, if we lived our lives in the "Christian bubble",

Singing and worshiping and learning about God all day, every day,

We wouldn't be doing what He called us to do,

Going out into the world,

Being in the world but not of it,

Being a light to all people.

Still, I wished I could go back to that,

I wished I could spend all day, every day praising Him.

This kind of seemed odd to me.

I guess I always thought that spending that much time doing something -

Even something as awesome and worthwhile as praising God -

Would eventually get,



I think that was because I'd never experienced it.

I think that now I've caught a glimpse of just how worthwhile it really is.

Spending my time in worship and study was so much better,

Brought me so much more fulfilment,

Made me feel so much more alive,

Than any other thing I've ever pursued.


I have never felt that close to God before.

It was so amazing and incredible that I can't even describe it!

Those iPhones again - there are so many!
There were some things from Passion that didn't fade,

Things I learned,

Things I now know I need to do,

(Again, I'll get into that later - sorry for the long wait!  Here's a hint, if it makes you feel better.)

The desire to know God more,

Or, at least,

The desire to desire to know God more,

The desire to desire God more,

The desire to desire to desire God more,

(Yeah, that is getting to be a bit much.  Sorry, I'll stop now.)

The knowledge that people still believe,

That our God still moves,

Still reigns,

That He can make amazing things happen.

Oh, there is so, so much that will not fade.

Praise God for that,

Even if I can't always feel the closeness.

If you are an 18-25 year old and couldn't come to Passion this year, I would really, really encourage you to find some way to go next year.  God moves in amazing ways at this conference!  You really shouldn't miss it!

"Set Free" is performed by Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman (I think - sorry, it's hard to keep track when so many artists congregate in one place and sing songs together).  Many thanks to these people for their beautiful music.

Also, many, many thanks to Sylvia for the beautiful post "Poured Out" (my "hint").  This retelling of a great explanation of 2 Kings 4:1-7, coupled with the author's personal response to the message, has a lot to do with what I learned from Passion.

To read more about my experience at Passion, check out these posts:
     At the Dome - Passion 2012
     Incomprehensible - Passion 2012
     I Went Expecting - Passion 2012
     Do Something Now - Passion 2012
     After the Dome - Passion 2012

Linking up over here today, desiring to walk with Him, or at least desiring to desire to walk with Him.  (Speaking of which, the desiring to desire thing is similar to "I want to want to . . .", which I picked up from Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love.  Many thanks to this incredible author and speaker for his words and inspiration.)

Also, please take the time to look at some of the other posts at the bottom of this one, maybe offer the authors some encouragement if you like their posts?  It's a blessing to know you've blessed.



Anonymous said...

What an awesome experience! There is nothing like being in the clouds of worship with other worshipers all around you. I smiled as I read your post.

Mary said...

Oh, yes, it was! So much more beautiful than I had imagined! There really is nothing like worship, especially among thousands of God's people, all desiring to glorify Him with all they are. I'm so glad my little story could bring a smile to your face! Thank you for telling me!

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