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"No matter where I am, your teachings fill me with songs." - Psalm 119:54 (CEV)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What Comes Down . . .


The needle comes up,

Pokes through fabric in the middle of a white-outlined square,

Presses down into another square nearby.

Up, down.

Up, down.

This - this is how my life has felt lately.

 
Monday -

Monday was good.

I listened to a sermon during lunch,

One of those where the pastor describes where you are

(Not to at "T", but close enough for it to hit you.)

I wanted to know more,

How I could find my way out of this.

I listened to the next two sermons in the series,

Spent most of the rest of the day pursuing God.

I started to want Him again,

Really want Him.

By the time I was getting ready for bed,

My prayers were filled with praises,

So many praises that I could have kept praising Him all night.

I didn't.

I should have.

  
I tried to hold onto that the next day,

Sought it again today,

Failed both times.

Why does this have to happen so often?

Why can't I just want Him all the time?

There are probably many answers to that question,

Most of which I will never know.

The only one I can think of is that,

If I wanted Him that much all the time,

I wouldn't know what it's like to not want Him,

How precious it is to feel that burning desire for Him,

To want to seek after Him with all I am.

I often feel the weight of things most strongly when they are absent.

Still, that's not much of a comfort.


The needle comes up again,

Form starting to take shape.

First, it was just a couple of random stitches,

Then more,

Then subtle variations in color.

I can see it coming into focus,

This half-formed lobster.

A couple stitches of white,

Two dark eyes,

Outlines,

And then it will finally, definitively appear to be what it was intended to be -

Whole,

Beautiful,

Complete.


I think He does this with us, too,

Putting the stitches into place one at a time,

Piercing the fabric,

Needle moving up, down.

It's slow,

Painfully slow,

But that work He started - 

He always carries it on to completion.

I know this.

At least, in my head, I know this.

In my heart, I do not -

Not as well as I should.


I plunge the needle back into the fabric,

Trying to remind myself,

For the thousandth time,

That His work defies the law of gravity:

What comes down,

Must come up.

 
Numbers 1107-1242 this week,

Seeing who He is,

Remembering that He is Faithful,

Worthy,

God.
  1. He gives those whom He chooses victory wherever they go (2 Samuel 8:14)
  2. He does what is good in His sight (2 Samuel 10:12)
  3. He is displeased by people's actions (2 Samuel 11:27)
  4. He does things in broad daylight (2 Samuel 12:12)
  5. He does things before all the people (2 Samuel 12:12)
  6. He takes away sin (2 Samuel 12:13)
  7. He loves people (2 Samuel 12:24)
  8. He names people “Loved by the LORD” (2 Samuel 12:25)
  9. He devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from Him (2 Samuel 15:15)
  10. He brings back those who find favor in His eyes (2 Samuel 15:25)
  11. He allows those who find favor in His eyes to see His dwelling place again (2 Samuel 15:25)
  12. He tells people to curse (2 Samuel 16:11)
  13. He vindicates (2 Samuel 18:31)
  14. He delivers His servant from all who rise up against him (2 Samuel 18:31)
  15. He sends famines (2 Samuel 21:1)
  16. He answers prayer (2 Samuel 21:14)
  17. He answers prayer in behalf of the land (2 Samuel 21:14)
  18. He delivers those He chooses from the hands of all their enemies (2 Samuel 22:1)
  19. He is a Fortress (2 Samuel 22:2)
  20. He is a Deliverer (2 Samuel 22:2)
  21. He is a Refuge (2 Samuel 22:3)
  22. He is the Horn of Salvation (2 Samuel 22:3)
  23. He is a Stronghold (2 Samuel 22:3)
  24. He saves His people from violent people (2 Samuel 22:3)
  25. He is Worthy of Praise (2 Samuel 22:4)
  26. He saves His people from their enemies (2 Samuel 22:4)
  27. He hears the voice of the distressed (2 Samuel 22:7)
  28. From His temple He hears those who call out to Him (2 Samuel 22:7)
  29. The cries of His people come to His ears (2 Samuel 22:7)
  30. His anger causes the earth to tremble and quake (2 Samuel 22:8)
  31. His anger shakes the foundations of the heavens (2 Samuel 22:8)
  32. Smoke rises from His nostrils (2 Samuel 22:9)
  33. Consuming fire comes from His mouth (2 Samuel 22:9)
  34. Burning coals blaze out of His mouth (2 Samuel 22:9)
  35. He parts the heavens (2 Samuel 22:10)
  36. He comes down (2 Samuel 22:10)
  37. Dark clouds are under His feet (2 Samuel 22:10)
  38. He mounts cherubim (2 Samuel 22:11)
  39. He flies (2 Samuel 22:11)
  40. He soars on the wings of the wind (2 Samuel 22:11)
  41. He makes darkness His canopy around Him (2 Samuel 22:12)
  42. Bolts of lightning blaze forth out of the brightness of His presence (2 Samuel 22:13)
  43. He thunders from Heaven (2 Samuel 22:14)
  44. His voice resounds (2 Samuel 22:14)
  45. He shoots arrows (2 Samuel 22:15)
  46. He scatters the enemy (2 Samuel 22:15)
  47. He routes the enemy with great bolts of lightning (2 Samuel 22:15)
  48. He exposes the valleys of the sea (2 Samuel 22:16)
  49. He lays bare the foundations of the earth (2 Samuel 22:16)
  50. At His rebuke, the valleys of the sea are exposed and the foundations of the earth are lad bare (2 Samuel 22:16)
  51. At the blast of breath from His nostrils, the valleys of the sea are exposed and the foundations of the earth are lad bare (2 Samuel 22:16)
  52. He reaches down from on high (2 Samuel 22:17)
  53. He takes hold of His people (2 Samuel 22:17)
  54. He draws His people out of deep waters (2 Samuel 22:17)
  55. He rescues His people from their powerful enemies (2 Samuel 22:18)
  56. He rescues His people from their foes, who are too strong for them (2 Samuel 22:18)
  57. He is a Support (2 Samuel 22:19)
  58. He supports His people in the day of their disaster (2 Samuel 22:19)
  59. He supports His people when they are confronted by their enemies (2 Samuel 22:18-19)
  60. He brings His people out into a spacious place (2 Samuel 22:20)
  61. He rescues His people because He delights in them (2 Samuel 22:20)
  62. He deals with His people according to their righteousness (2 Samuel 22:21)
  63. He rewards His people according to the cleanness of their hands (2 Samuel 22:21)
  64. He rewards His people according to their righteousness (2 Samuel 22:25)
  65. He rewards His people according to their cleanness in His sight (2 Samuel 22:25)
  66. To the faithful He shows Himself Faithful (2 Samuel 22:26)
  67. He is Blameless (2 Samuel 22:26)
  68. To the blameless He shows Himself Blameless (2 Samuel 22:26)
  69. He is Pure (2 Samuel 22:27)
  70. To the pure He shows Himself Pure (2 Samuel 22:27)
  71. He is Shrewd (2 Samuel 22:27)
  72. To the devious He shows Himself Shrewd (2 Samuel 22:27)
  73. He saves the humble (2 Samuel 22:28)
  74. His eyes are on the haughty to bring them low (2 Samuel 22:28)
  75. He is the lamp of His people (2 Samuel 22:29)
  76. He turns the darkness of His people into light (2 Samuel 22:29)
  77. With His help, His people can advance against troops (2 Samuel 22:30)
  78. With His help, His people can scale walls (2 Samuel 22:30)
  79. His way is perfect (2 Samuel 22:31)
  80. His word is flawless (2 Samuel 22:31)
  81. He shields all who take refuge in Him (2 Samuel 22:31)
  82. None is God besides Him (2 Samuel 22:32)
  83. None is the Rock except Him (2 Samuel 22:32)
  84. He arms His people with strength (2 Samuel 22:33)
  85. He keeps His people's way secure (2 Samuel 22:33)
  86. He makes the feet of His people like the feet of deer (2 Samuel 22:34)
  87. He causes His people to stand on the heights (2 Samuel 22:34)
  88. He trains the hands of His people for battle (2 Samuel 22:35)
  89. He gives His people the strength to bend bows of bronze (2 Samuel 22:35)
  90. His saving help is the shield of His people (2 Samuel 22:36)
  91. His help makes His people great (2 Samuel 22:36)
  92. He provides a broad path for the feet of His people (2 Samuel 22:37)
  93. He keeps the ankles of His people from giving way (2 Samuel 22:37)
  94. He arms His people with strength for battle (2 Samuel 22:40)
  95. He humbles His people's adversaries before them (2 Samuel 22:40)
  96. He makes the enemies of His people turn their backs in flight (2 Samuel 22:41)
  97. He does not answer the enemies of His people when they cry out to Him for help (2 Samuel 22:41-42)
  98. He delivers His people from the attacks of the peoples (2 Samuel 22:44)
  99. He preserves His chosen one as the head of nations (2 Samuel 22:44)
  100. He lives! (2 Samuel 22:47)
  101. He is to be praised! (2 Samuel 22:47)
  102. He is to be exalted! (2 Samuel 22:47)
  103. He avenges His people (2 Samuel 22:48)
  104. He puts the nations under the one He has chosen (2 Samuel 22:48)
  105. He sets His people free from His enemies (2 Samuel 22:49)
  106. He exalts His people above their foes (2 Samuel 22:49)
  107. He rescues the one He has chosen from a violent man (2 Samuel 22:49)
  108. He is to be praised among the nations (2 Samuel 22:50)
  109. His people sing the praises of His name (2 Samuel 22:50)
  110. He gives His king great victories (2 Samuel 22:51)
  111. He shows unfailing kindness to His anointed (2 Samuel 22:51)
  112. He shows unfailing kindness to the ones He has chosen forever (2 Samuel 22:51)
  113. He exalts those whom He chooses to exalt (2 Samuel 23:1)
  114. He is the God of Jacob (2 Samuel 23:1)
  115. He anoints those whom He chooses to anoint (2 Samuel 23:1)
  116. His Spirit speaks through people (2 Samuel 23:2)
  117. His puts His word on the tongues of me (2 Samuel 23:2)
  118. He speaks to men (2 Samuel 23:3)
  119. He makes those who rule in righteousness, who rule in fear of Him, like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning (2 Samuel 23:4)
  120. He makes those who rule in righteousness, who rule in fear of Him, like the brightness after rain that brings grass from the earth (2 Samuel 23:4)\
  121. He makes an everlasting covenant with those whose house is right with Him (2 Samuel 23:5)
  122. His covenants are arranged and secured in every part (2 Samuel 23:5)
  123. He brings fruition to the salvation of those whose house is right with Him (2 Samuel 23:5)
  124. He grants every desire of those whose house is right with Him (2 Samuel 23:5)
  125. He casts evil men aside like thorns (2 Samuel 23:6)
  126. He brings about great victories (2 Samuel 23:12)
  127. His anger burns against Israel (2 Samuel 24:1)
  128. He incites people against Israel (2 Samuel 24:1)
  129. He gives options (2 Samuel 24:12)
  130. His Mercy is great (2 Samuel 24:14)
  131. He keeps Jerusalem from destruction (2 Samuel 24:16)
  132. He relents concerning the disaster He has planned (2 Samuel 24:26)
  133. He commands the angels (2 Samuel 24:16)
  134. He commands the angels to stop afflicting the people (2 Samuel 24:16)
  135. He answers the prayers of His servant on behalf of the land (2 Samuel 24:25)
  136. He stops plagues (2 Samuel 24:25)


Counting 10,000 Reasons to worship Him:


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Counting in community:
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2 comments:

Christina said...

This is so true! I appreciate your honesty. Have you ever read Larry Crabb? He talks about similar issues. Loved your list! So thankful for all we have in Christ.

24/5/12 07:11
Mary said...

Oh, thank you, Christina! I'm glad you appreciate my honesty. I must say, I logged on to post and was hoping and praying that I wouldn't have comments, because I keep thinking about the fact that this is about the thousandth time I've posted about being in a dry spot and people are actually going to read what I've written. I try to be honest regardless, but I have to confess that a part of me still worries about what other people will think. So, thank you very, very much for your encouragement. It means a lot.

No, I have never read Larry Crabb. I looked him up, though, and read where he had said, "If I ever publish my autobiography, I’ll call it Sovereign Stumbling. My life journey to date is a series of how I have stumbled and how God has consistently guided me in His sovereign ways." That definitely sounds similar to what I've been going through lately. I'll have to see if I can find any of his works. Thanks for the recommendation!

Oh, the list. Such a help, especially now. I find myself just skimming and reading whatever I can in it, trying to remind myself who He is. So thankful, but not thankful enough. Never thankful enough.

Thank you so much for your words. They really do mean a lot.

24/5/12 21:55

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