It's Finally Finished!!!!!

Remember when I told you I was working on a new CD?

Well, it took awhile.

By the time everything was mixed, it was too close to Christmas to release it in 2012.

So I waited.

And I released it in 2013.

Today, in fact.

It's called Masterpiece

(Not because it is a masterpiece.

I'll explain in a moment)

It's my second full-length album,

At twelve tracks, the longest one yet.

At the time I wrote those songs, God was teaching me about who we are,

How He sees us.

He kept leading me to this one word in Ephesians 2:10.

The Greek word is "poiema".

It's where we get our English word "poem".

Usually, it's translated "workmanship",

As in, "We are God's workmanship."

The New Living Translation renders the word as "masterpiece", which better captures the emotion of the word.

We're not just a work of God,

We're His poetry,

His masterpiece.

As these thoughts turned 'round and 'round in my head,

Songs came out.

My friend helped me pick ten of them.

I added two more because they were things I wanted to say.

Here they are:

1.  Song That You Sing

I wrote this as I was meditating on Ann Voskamp's post that inspired the song "How Emptiness Sings" by Christa Wells, and I took away something a little different from it.  So I wrote a different song.  My friend Kassandra came in and played a flute part for me, which was just what the simplistic accompaniment needed to keep it simple enough for the lyrics but interesting enough to be . . . well, interesting.

2.  By Name

I wrote this song meditating on the idea that different people know more about different aspects of God's character than others.  In sharing our stories, we witness to those aspects of God's character, which helps others to have a better understanding of those aspects of God's character, which helps us to know God better.  Obviously, the first place we should be looking for information about God is His Word, but other things testify to who He is as well, and we shouldn't ignore them.

3.  The Masterpiece

This is pretty much the title track.  It's based on Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) - We are God's masterpiece!  So amazing!

4.  Safe

This one's about my own personal struggle between a natural desire for safety and God's promise of Safety.  There's so much in my life pushing me to get a college degree, get a "safe" job, have a stable income, . . . and all the while God's pushing me toward something the world would tell me is dangerous and risky.  Well, who am I going to listen to?  Everyone on this planet, or the God who created all of them?  Still, I have a lot to learn about trusting Him with this.

5.  Free (The Wave's Song)

This one was inspired by James 1:6-8 (NLT).  The metaphor of people being like waves, driven and tossed by the wind, was too good for me to pass up.  I wrote it during a sermon on those verses instead of paying attention.

6.  He Does Not Make Junk

I wrote about this song in this post.

7.  Yahushua (Jonah's Prayer)

When I read the prayer Jonah prayed in Jonah 2, how he was thanking God for saving him while he was still inside the belly of a fish, I knew I had to turn it into a song.  So I did, staying as close to the text (I was reading it out of the Contemporary English Version Bible) as I could.  I then decided I wanted a sort of one-word refrain, kind of like Heather Williams' "Hallelujah".  I'd recently watched a song that contained various names for God and wondered if there was a Hebrew name for God that meant "God saves".  The closest Google could come was "Yahushua", which, interestingly enough, is the word that the names Joshua and Jesus come from.

8.  What I Love

Another one I've already written about.  You can read the story here.

9.  Impossible

This was inspired by a passage from Madeline L'Engle's Walking on Water.  She spoke of the Transfiguration and how the things that we think are impossible really aren't impossible at all.  So I wrote a song about it.  Go figure.

10.  You Said My Name

This was inspired by a video by the Skit Guys.  They were telling Peter's story, a story of grace, how he denied Jesus and Jesus still said his name.  So I had to write a song about Peter.  This is one of my favorites from this album, because I need to hear Him say my name, too.

11.  The Poem You Write

I wrote this after a sermon explaining that "poiema" is where we get "poem" from.  As a sort of poet, I couldn't let this image of God as a Poet slip past me.  It became a song.

12.  With Abandon

This one was probably the most intentional of all of them.  As I thought about all these things I'd been writing about, I was left with the question, "What should my response to all of this be?"  And I decided the answer was to do what He's told me to do, and to do it with abandon.  This one's a little more cliche than the rest of them.  I couldn't think of any other way to say it.  I decided to leave it on the album, though, just for that thought:  I need to live with abandon.

I'm not going to post the lyrics for all of these,

Mostly because I don't have time,

But also because they're somewhere online already,

Which leads me to what I have to share with you next:

The CD will be available for one week for free on Noisetrade.

You can go to my page now and download it and my past two projects

In exchange for your email address and zip code.

On January 15th, most of the album will be removed.

A few songs will still be available for free,

The rest will have vanished.

So, you may ask, where will I be able to get the CD after the week is up?

Well, yesterday I signed up for a Bandcamp account.

Bandcamp is an incredible (free!) tool for artists.

On my Bandcamp page, I have my new album available.

You can download tracks 1 and 3-12 for $0.50 each,

Track 2 is free in exchange for your email address

(For the first 200 people, apparently - I'm only allowed to give so much away at this site),

Or you can download the entire CD for $5.00.

If you want to give me more money than I'm asking for, you're welcome to.

The files are uploaded in .wav format, so you can download them in virtually any format you want

(Unlike NoiseTrade, which only offers .mp3s)

You can also read the album description

And buy a physical CD.

Yes, you can buy a real, physical CD for $5.00 (the same price as the download)

Plus $2.00 shipping

And I will send you a real, homemade physical CD in a clear jewel case -

And

Just for buying the physical CD,

You'll get to download the CD, too - for free!

So you'll have the music immediately,

Then have the real CD within a few weeks.

Isn't that awesome?

And,

As if those things in and of themselves weren't awesome enough,

Downloads include bonus .pdfs of my CD booklet -

So you can get all of my lyrics just for downloading a song

(Or you might have to download the whole CD . . . I'm not really sure how it works . . . but somehow you'll be able to get them.)

I officially like Bandcamp.

So, you can visit my Bandcamp page by clicking here.

My biography,

Discography,

And music pages have also been updated,

If you'd like to read them.

Thank you all for your support.

I now have to get back to cutting out papers and burning images on discs

So that, when you order those CDs,

I'll have some to send to you. :)

All of you here really do mean the world to me!

God bless you!

 

Why a Woman Needs a Best Friend

She wraps her arm around my shoulder and holds me close

As tears fill my eyes.

Tears of nervousness,

Tears of helplessness,

Tears of fear.

She rubs my back and tells me it's going to be alright.

She lets me rush her through lunch,

Stand impatiently,

Then walks out of her way to go back to my room with me

When I'm not feeling well

And I just need that one thing in my drawer.

She lets me abandon her for a few minutes,

Waits quietly in the hard wood chair by my desk

Until I return and complain some more.

She's there to poke me awake

When I stayed up with her until 5:30 in the morning,

Both of us doing homework,

And the class we're in is just not interesting enough for me to stay awake

With only four hours of sleep.

She's there to buy me cookies,

Or smile when I buy them for myself because I'm craving chocolate.

She's there to give me chocolate

When I have to draw a 32-argument circuit,

And I'm quite sure I'm going to die.

She's there to count down the days to the end of the semester with me,

There to listen to my struggles,

There to smile at my joys.

She puts up with my awkward pictures,

Puts up with my talking incessantly about the same topics all the time,

Puts up with my loud laugh and loud voice.

I can talk with her about anything -

Parents,

Church,

Homework,

That Bible verse I read yesterday.

I can tell her how God answered my prayer

And hit me on the head -

Literally, right on the bridge of my nose -

With a falling berry,

And she laughs out loud

Just like I did when it happened.

I asked her this summer if she would,

And she said yes without hesitation,

Even though I know she had a lot of other things to do,

A lot of other things to work on.

So she and her flute came home with me

And we spent a late night in my room

As I introduced her to my world.

She put the giant headphones on her head.

I watched her hand keep time to the music,

Foot tapping to the beat.

She practiced and practiced

And I ended up beside her,

The two of us each with one earbud,

Me moving my hand down, left, right, up,

Her playing beautifully along with my erratic recording,

The incredibly slow tempo.

A few recordings later, we called it quits for the night,

One of two done,

One step closer to wrapping up my album.

We got ready for bed

And laid down on the air mattress in my basement

In an attempt to get a few hours of sleep before morning,

And all I could do was thank God

For blessing me so abundantly

And giving me such a wonderful friend.

I couldn't have asked for more.

Reasons 2162-2200 today,

Struggling to discern the truth

And to seek after it in spite of fear and doubt:

2162. He watches over the way of the righteous (Psalm 1:6)
2163. He laughs at those who band together against Him and His anointed (Psalm 2:2-4)
2164. He scoffs at those who band together against Him and His anointed (Psalm 2:2-4)
2165. In His anger, He rebukes those who band together against Him and His anointed (Psalm 2:2-4)
2166. With His wrath, He terrifies those who band together against Him and His anointed (Psalm 2:2-4)
2167. He is enthroned in heaven (Psalm 2:4)
2168. He has installed His king (Psalm 2:6)
2169. He has installed His king on Zion, His holy mountain (Psalm 2:6)
2170. He calls people “son” (Psalm 2:7)
2171. He becomes His people's Father (Psalm 2:7)
2172. He makes nations His people's inheritance (Psalm 2:8)
2173. He makes the ends of the earth His people's possession (Psalm 2:8)
2174. He is angry with those who do not kiss His son (Psalm 2:12)
2175. He causes the way of those who do not kiss His son to lead to destruction (Psalm 2:12)
2176. His wrath can flare up in a moment (Psalm 2:12)
2177. He blesses those who take refuge in Him (Psalm 2:12)
2178. He is a shield around His people (Psalm 3:3)
2179. He is the glory of His people (Psalm 3:3)
2180. He lifts high the head of His people (Psalm 3:3)
2181. From His holy mountain, He answers those who call out to Him (Psalm 3:4)
2182. He is the reason people wake again after lying down and sleeping (Psalm 3:5)
2183. He sustains His people (Psalm 3:5)
2184. He arises (Psalm 3:7)
2185. He delivers (Psalm 3:7)
2186. He strikes the enemies of His people on the jaw (Psalm 3:7)
2187. He breaks the teeth of the wicked (Psalm 3:7)
2188. From Him comes deliverance (Psalm 3:7)
2189. He answers His people when His people call to Him (Psalm 4:1)
2190. He gives relief from distress (Psalm 4:1)
2191. He has mercy (Psalm 4:1)
2192. He has mercy on His people (Psalm 4:1)
2193. He hears prayer (Psalm 4:1)
2194. He hears the prayers of His people (Psalm 4:1)
2195. He sets apart His faithful servant for Himself (Psalm 4:3)
2196. He hears those who call to Him (Psalm 4:3)
2197. He lets the light of His face shine on His people (Psalm 4:6)
2198. He fills people's hearts with joy (Psalm 4:7)
2199. He fills people's hearts with joy when their grain and new wine abound (Psalm 4:7)
2200. He alone makes people dwell in safety (Psalm 4:8)

Music update:

1 more flute part to record,
A bunch more songs to mix,
Most of the cover art still to do.

It's amazing how little gets done once summer's over,

And even more amazing that summer is never enough time to get everything put together,

But we're still working,

Slowly getting there.

Hopefully sometime soon.

Counting 10,000 Reasons to worship Him: 

(Sylvia's already made it to 10,000!  I only wish I had that kind of time!  If only I didn't have to do homework . . .)

<a href="http://maryschieferstein.blogspot.com/search/label/10000%20Reasons" target="_blank"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitidrfBKBWTHSBiWyh3WMRKjHFgYKk-RxjYB9-uePQb1-uI3t3bjysPnR65zloJJ0LgTqhT5kW70Rk8VOC2utXFUWhGRPIxNCqzZ_9YQryYPMJdj2XpiX0oawLUiMnmxFOeMkmjk3IIA/s320/10000ReasonsButton.jpg" /></a>

Counting in community:




 

Strength in Weakness

Sorry this didn't quite get posted yesterday.

I had it written, but ran into technical difficulties.

I don't get the opportunity to sing for others very often

(Excluding singing along with the radio while I'm driving),

But, when I do, I always take it.

It's kind of amazing that I do, really,

Because when I perform for others,

I always get very nervous -

So nervous that I'm amazed I can even keep playing,

That there isn't a tremor in my voice.

It was especially bad when I accompanied myself with my guitar once.

I was sure that I wouldn't be able to push down on the strings hard enough,

That the chords wouldn't sound right,

Or that my trembling fingers might drop the pick.

I don't have to worry about these things when I'm playing the piano,

Though the butterflies in my stomach may contribute to missed keys and wrong notes.

Somehow, though,

Whatever the difficulty,

I always manage to do okay.

I'm never perfect,

I always mess up,

But most people don't notice.

They hear no tremor in my voice,

The wrong notes are quickly forgotten,

And when it's over, they compliment me -

Me, still shaking.

Last year, I sang a song in church.

Going into one of the verses, I was suddenly gripped with the thought that I had forgotten the lyrics.

I hadn't.

I got through the entire song without forgetting a word,

But I will never forget that fraction of a second

When I believed I'd forgotten,

And I was just terrified.

Why do I get so nervous?

Is it that,

As all artists know,

So much of one's heart goes into one's work,

Until it feels as though all is laid bear,

And, if people reject your work -

And some certainly will -

In a sense, it feels as though they are rejecting you?

Maybe.

I'm certainly insecure enough,

But I don't want to run away from criticism,

Because people telling me, "That was great," doesn't help me get better.

I need someone to tell me what I did wrong.

Maybe it's just stage fright,

Just that I'm not used to being all alone,

That knowledge that, if I mess up, everyone will be able to hear,

Everyone will know it was me.

It certainly isn't like singing in a choir.

Maybe it's looking at all those people,

And just knowing they're there,

Judging every note I play,

Every word that comes out of my mouth . . .

I don't know.

All I know is that I get nervous.

Terribly nervous.

Still, I practice for days,

Get things set up,

And, on Sunday morning, I get up early,

Read my Bible,

Put on a nice dress,

Jewelry,

Watch Dad load a microphone boom and cameras into the car,

Open the car door,

Sit down,

Put my seatbelt on,

And go to the church for some last-minute practice and a sound check.

I go over it in my head as I walk in,

Isaiah 41:9-10,

The verses I learned last time I did something like this:

Isaiah 41:9-10

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁹ I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
    saying, ‘You are my servant.’
For I have chosen you
    and will not throw you away.
¹⁰ Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I remember another one, too,

Philippians 4:6-7,

Remember saying it to myself in a pew a year ago,

Shaking in anticipation of what was to come:

Philippians 4:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And, for the billionth time, I think that I don't know why He would choose someone so weak,

Someone so utterly incapable,

Who is terrified at the thought of giving a concert,

Who shakes like a leaf every time she steps out of her comfort zone and does this . . .

Unless I was wrong?

Unless this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing?

Then I remind myself of it again,

Such a big reason why I was so sure this was the right thing in the first place:

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (emphasis added)

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

⁸ Three times I begged the Lord to make this suffering go away. ⁹ But he replied, “My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am. ¹⁰ Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ. Because when I am weak, I am strong.

People start coming in and I have to stop,

Go somewhere else to play it just a few more times,

Somehow believing that if I go over it enough I might actually survive,

And I was interrupted,

And I ran out of time,

And that piano felt different,

Had a faster reaction than the one upstairs,

Wasn't as loud,

And I just worried.

I don't worry much,

But this -

This I always worry about.

People talk,

Make announcements.

Someone mentions me,

And I look up and try to smile and nod politely,

Thinking about whether or not he'd feel the same way about my performance after it was over,

Then I go back to gazing in the general direction of the floor again,

Closing my eyes,

And praying the kinds of things I usually pray before doing something like this:

God, be glorified.

Glorify Yourself.

If You will be glorified if I perform well, then let me perform well.

If You will get more glory if I screw up completely, then I will be okay with that.

If You will be glorified if I'm so nervous that I can barely get a word out,

If that is how You want to showcase Your strength,

Then let it be.

But,

If You can be glorified if I'm not nervous,

Please, Lord, I don't want to be nervous.

I really don't want to be nervous.

Still,

Whatever it means,

Bring Yourself glory.

I just want You to get the glory.

 
I pray it in spurts,

Through all the different people talking,

As we stand up and as we sit down,

As I sit on the piano bench,

Waiting for everyone to finish shaking hands,

Stop chatting.

I pray it in the final moments,

As I look over,

Waiting for the pastor to sit down.

He does.

My fingers are on the keys.

I play the first chord,

The second (oh, that was the wrong note!),

The third,

And all the rest is a blur.

I can't remember singing all the words,

But I must have.

I can't remember playing the last chord,

Lifting my feet off the pedals,

But I suppose I did.

I went back to my seat thinking of all the things I was trying to pay attention to during that song,

Unable to recall if I'd done a single one correct,

But of this one solid fact I was absolutely certain:

I had not been the slightest bit nervous.

You can blame it on a lot of factors -

The music stand the pianist had had up,

Blocking my view of the audience;

The fact that I'd performed there before,

And the last time I'd received many compliments on what a wonderful job I did,

How talented I was

(And, sure enough, I got those same compliments this time -

Even had a couple of people ask if the song was published,

Tell me it should me);

But whether or not those things contributed is anyone's guess.

I'd guess they didn't.

I was making a real effort to look up at the audience periodically

(Or, at least, I vaguely remember looking at the audience periodically . . .),

And I've worried before that I would get criticism from those who had complimented me in the past.

Really, though, it doesn't make a difference,

Because one reason I am sure of,

Because I'm sure that only one thing could have taken away all of my fear:

God answered my prayers.

He did what I could not,

Kept me from feeling even just a little bit nervous,

And let me actually enjoy performing in front of people.

(Yes, enjoy!  I hadn't known it was possible!)

And, when I rushed up to sing the second song I would be performing,

My second-favorite hymn of all time,

This reminder of the truth of the words was right there,

This warm peace nestled up inside of me,

Right where all those butterflies used to be.

As I said, it still wasn't perfect.

I discovered that it is incredibly difficult to hear one's voice over a baby grand piano.

It was fun, though.

Care to listen in?

This, a sneak peek,

One of the songs going on the new CD:


And this,

My second-favorite hymn:

(Unfortunately, the camera didn't catch the first couple of lines,

So we had to patch them in from a different audio file.)



Reasons 1794-1866 today,

This beautiful reminder of who He is,

This Gracious God who answers prayers,

And the only true Source of strength:

1794. There is no one like Him to help the powerless against the mighty (2 Chronicles 14:11)
1795. He strikes down (2 Chronicles 14:12)
1796. He allows those who seek Him to find Him (2 Chronicles 15:2)
1797. He forsakes those who forsake Him (2 Chronicles 15:2)
1798. He allows those who seek Him eagerly to find Him (2 Chronicles 15:15)
1799. He gives those who seek Him rest on every side (2 Chronicles 15:15)
1800. His eyes range throughout the earth (2 Chronicles 16:9)
1801. His eyes range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9)
1802. He establishes kingdoms (2 Chronicles 17:5)
1803. He establishes kingdoms under the control of those whom He chooses (2 Chronicles 17:5)
1804. He causes the fear of Him to fall on all the surrounding kingdoms (2 Chronicles 17:10)
1805. His wrath comes upon those who sin (2 Chronicles 19:10)
1806. His wrath comes upon those who sin against Him (2 Chronicles 19:10)
1807. His wrath comes upon those who sin in the judging of cases (2 Chronicles 19:10)
1808. He is the God who is in heaven (2 Chronicles 20:5)
1809. He is the God of our ancestors (2 Chronicles 20:6)
1810. He rules over all the kingdoms of the nations (2 Chronicles 20:6)
1811. Power is in His hand (2 Chronicles 20:6)
1812. Might is in His hand (2 Chronicles 20:6)
1813. No one can withstand Him (2 Chronicles 20:6)
1814. He drove out the inhabitants of the land before His people (2 Chronicles 20:7)
1815. He gave the land forever to the descendants of His friend (2 Chronicles 20:7)
1816. He hears those who stand in His presence (2 Chronicles 20:9)
1817. He hears those who stand in His presence before His temple (2 Chronicles 20:9)
1818. He tells His people not to be afraid or discouraged (2 Chronicles 20:15)
1819. He fights some battles for His people (2 Chronicles 20:15-17)
1820. He tells His people to stand firm (2 Chronicles 20:17)
1821. He gives deliverance (2 Chronicles 20:17)
1822. He tells His people to see His deliverance (2 Chronicles 20:17)
1823. Those who have faith in Him are upheld (2 Chronicles 20:20)
1824. Those who have faith in Him will be successful (2 Chronicles 20:20)
1825. He is to be praised for the splendor of His Holiness (2 Chronicles 20:21)
1826. He gives people cause to rejoice (2 Chronicles 20:27)
1827. He gives people cause to rejoice over their enemies (2 Chronicles 20:27)
1828. His fear comes on surrounding kingdoms (2 Chronicles 20:29)
1829. He fights against the enemies of Israel (2 Chronicles 20:29)
1830. He strikes those who follow evil ways with a heavy blow (2 Chronicles 21:13-14)
1831. He arouses the hostility of enemy nations against the people of His nation because they have followed evil ways (2 Chronicles 21:13-16)
1832. He inflicts those who follow evil ways with incurable disease (2 Chronicles 21:13-18)
1833. He causes those who follow evil ways to die in great pain (2 Chronicles 21:13-18)
1834. He brings about the downfall of those who do evil in His eyes (2 Chronicles 22:4-7)
1835. He plans events so that those who do evil in His eyes will be destroyed (2 Chronicles 22:4-7)
1836. He anoints people to destroy the houses of those who do evil in His eyes (2 Chronicles 22:4-7)
1837. He anoints people to execute judgment on the houses of those who do evil in His eyes (2 Chronicles 22:4-7)
1838. Those who disobey His commands will not prosper (2 Chronicles 24:20)
1839. Because His people forsake Him, He forsakes them (2 Chronicles 24:20)
1840. He executes judgment on the king of the people who forsake Him (2 Chronicles 24:24)
1841. He executes judgment on the king because His people have forsaken Him (2 Chronicles 24:24)
1842. He is not always with those who march into battle (2 Chronicles 25:7)
1843. He overthrows (2 Chronicles 25:8)
1844. He overthrows people before their enemies (2 Chronicles 25:8)
1845. He overthrows even those who go and fight courageously in battle before their enemies (2 Chronicles 25:8)
1846. He has the power to help (2 Chronicles 25:8)
1847. He has the power to overthrow (2 Chronicles 25:8)
1848. He can give much more than a hundred talents (2 Chronicles 25:9)
1849. He determines to destroy those who consult other people's gods (2 Chronicles 25:14-16)
1850. He determines to destroy those who consult other people's gods, which could not save their own people from God's people (2 Chronicles 25:14-16)
1851. He determines to destroy those who do not listen to His counsel (2 Chronicles 25:14-16)
1852. He works so that He might deliver those who have sought other gods into the hands of other nations (2 Chronicles 25:20)
1853. He works so that He might deliver those who have sought other gods into the hands of other nations, because they sought other gods (2 Chronicles 25:20)
1854. He gives success to those who seek Him (2 Chronicles 26:5)
1855. He helps (2 Chronicles 26:7)
1856. He helps those who seek Him when they fight against their enemies (2 Chronicles 26:5-7)
1857. He does not honor those who are unfaithful to Him (2 Chronicles 26:18)
1858. He causes leprosy to break out on the foreheads of those who are unfaithful to Him (2 Chronicles 26:18-19)
1859. He afflicts those who are unfaithful to Him (2 Chronicles 26:18-20)
1860. He grants power to those who walk steadfastly before Him (2 Chronicles 27:6)
1861. He delivers those who engage in detestable practices into the hands of their enemies (2 Chronicles 28:3-5)
1862. His fierce anger rests upon those who slaughter in a rage that reaches to heaven (2 Chronicles 28:9-11)
1863. His fierce anger rests upon those of His people who intend to make others of His people their slaves (2 Chronicles 28:9-11)
1864. His fierce anger rests upon those who are guilty of sins against Him (2 Chronicles 28:9-11)
1865. He humbles His people because of kings who promote wickedness (2 Chronicles 28:19)
1866. He humbles His people because of kings who are most unfaithful to Him (2 Chronicles 28:19)

Counting 10,000 Reasons to worship Him: 

(Take the challenge with us!)

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Updates

Since it recently occurred to me that I hadn't posted any updates on the CD I'm working on for over a month . . .

(Sorry the pictures are a little grainy.  I hate to use the flash, and I wanted to keep the original lighting.)

Well, in the past month, I've gotten pretty much nowhere.

I've been so busy

(And so lazy)

That I haven't been recording half as much as I should've . . .

I finally sat down today to do one more,

And was reminded of why I've had no motivation to record . . .

The thermometer read eighty-three when I entered my un-air-conditioned room,

An open door and a fan blowing cooler air down the hall brought it down a whole degree to eighty-two.

I stood in front of the fan for as long as I could warming up,

Kept the door open as I went through the song a couple of times,

But once the microphone was on and the file name typed in there was no way to avoid it.

The fan had to be turned off.

The door had to be shut.

My room was hot.

I don't know how I ever would've survived before the invention of air-conditioning.

I was far too warm and got a tad bit dizzy once or twice.

It didn't help that I had a giant pair of headphones on my head.

After I recorded the song the first four times, I took a break.

Shortly thereafter, I returned to record four more times.

I managed to record one more before I heard voices down the hall.

Two siblings were talking as they prepared to go outside.

I reminded them what I was doing and asked them to be quiet,

Then returned to my room to record again.

The next recording went pretty well,

But, when I finished, I found out where outside my siblings were going -

Right outside my bedroom window.

So, after six recordings, I had to call it quits.

Hopefully one of them will be good enough.

If not, I'll have to record the song again.

On the bright side, the experience was somewhat enjoyable, as the song I recorded is one of my favorites,

Based on a couple of verses I'd heard a sermon on,

(Though not based on the sermon at all -

At the time he was preaching it, I was writing the song instead of paying attention.)

Accompaniment with all minor chords.

Personally, I think it sounds pretty cool,

Though it might be a tad repetitive.

(I do have a somewhat biased perspective, after all.)

The lyrics are some of my favorites, though,

So I'm really looking forward to seeing this on the CD.

Here are the numbers:

1 song mixed,

8 songs recorded (including the one that's mixed),

4 more to record,

Of those 4,

1 has an accompaniment,

3 only have chords.

Total of 12 songs (I miscounted last time; reconsidering the bonus song idea.)

(Compared to what I think was 1, 5, 7, 4, 0, and 12 from last month's -

I guess I've made some progress.)

Also, I've been working on a few ideas for cover art . . .

Hoping to start executing them soon . . .

Well, that's the update!

I'll let you know when something more gets done . . . I hope :)

Thanks for reading!!!


 

The Joys of Music

I love music.

I really do.

Sometimes it's just hard for me to see -

Like now.

Something about recording,

Snatching ten minutes at a time to capture one take of a song,

Doing that eight to - yikes - ten times

Spending hours working out chords -

It's just not very fun for me.

I want to get to the part where I can just play,

Sing,

And enjoy it.

At times like these, it's hard to remember

That, just a couple of months ago, I would get so excited at the prospect of a song,

Literally jump up and down (yes, like a little kid) in anticipation.

(Kind of like I did when I got Invisible Empires at the Christian Bookstore)

I forget that I'm obsessed with music.

But, oh, I get so terrified sometimes.

Just the idea of giving a concert -

Knowing how I shake and tremble when I perform for others,

How last summer I thought I forgot the lyrics,

That overwhelming fear I felt -

It scares me.

Even just practicing with someone else around, I get insecure,

I worry.

"What if they don't like it?"

"What if they don't think it's any good?"

Then, of course, the root of it all:

"What if they don't like me?"

I probably shouldn't care,

But I do.

With time, it's gotten better,

But I think that,

To some degree,

I will always feel like this.

It's just part of being human.

I've been questioning, too.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this at all.

Maybe it's not worth it.

It's so difficult,

And I know so little.

I haven't the slightest clue where to begin,

How to give a concert,

Promote a CD,

Tour the country,

Be a starving artist.

It's scary.

It's risky.

It's intimidating.

Yet just a few months ago, I was sure that this was where He wanted me -

Writing,

Singing,

Doing music -

Whatever that would end up looking like.

I don't think that's changed.

I've just gotten more scared.

Maybe it's because,

With everything else going on,

It's been hard to keep my eyes on Him.

It's quite a wonder how I got to it,

Sara Groves leading me to Christa Wells,

Christa Wells leading me to Ann Voskamp,

Ann Voskamp's Delicious linkroll leading me to a random Shaun Groves post -

Not even about music -

Then I think I kept browsing through some of his other non-music-related posts

Until I came across one with a cute little button at the bottom:

"Re:Write Online Songwriting Workshop"

One was for Thursday morning,

And I asked,

Volunteered to pay for the class,

And Dad agreed.

I don't think Mom was too happy,

But she didn't say anything.

(Other than "paid for", that is.)

So, having gotten about five hours of sleep,

I sat through a three-hour songwriting workshop.

Honestly, I wish it'd gone on forever.

(Well, maybe not forever, but you get the picture.)

A lot of people said they would never write the same way again.

I'm not sure I can say the same,

Though he offered a lot of helpful insight.

A lot of people said they learned a lot.

I definitely learned from his advice,

But a lot of what he'd said I'd already figured out on my own,

Learned in the music theory class I took fall semester,

Or done and then abandoned long ago to better express myself.

Yet, when I was asked about the class, I said it was amazing -

And it was.

Going through his rewrite (proofreading) checklist,

Starring one or two things I need to watch out for,

Looking at all the others thinking, "I do this . . .

Maybe I'm not so bad after all?"

Listening to him talk about how we shouldn't be too quick to say we're finished,

How good it is to be humble and accept criticism,

How much we need someone to rip our songs apart,

Help us make them better,

And I'm sitting there thinking of how much I'd appreciate someone to do that for me,

Someone to be brutally honest with me,

And how overly critical I am of myself.

The songs are never finished, just "finished",

Always works in progress,

Always open to change.

If I'm honest with myself, though,

My problem is, I don't change them.

One, because I write them as well as I can in the first place, change a few lines, then have absolutely no ideas for how to make them better than they already are.

Two, because no one rips my songs apart for me and tells me how to make them better.

Three, because I'm scared that if I change too much, not sure that what I'm changing will make them better, I'll just make them worse.

I knew the moment I saw it that "Re:Write" was something I needed to work on.

So, in the future, I'll definitely be rewriting more.

What was truly amazing about the workshop, though,

Is that I felt motivated again.

I could understand why I love music,

Why it's so much fun,

Why I keep doing this -

And I wanted to keep doing it.

Dad and I were up late last night,

Coming up with chords for the song I currently consider to be "my best".

(Of course, others might disagree . . .)

It was amazing.

I started with D and Em chords . . . through the entire song.

I was told that was an interesting progression,

But any progression gets boring when you listen to it for five whole minutes.

Dad hummed a bass line as I played,

Came up with major-minor sevenths,

Major-major sevenths,

Added in the second scale degree . . .

And, if none of that makes any sense to you,

The point is, it sounded awesome!

I knew from the beginning that this song deserved an awesome piano accompaniment.

I think it's going to have it.

Now I need to record it,

(Which is going to be difficult, as the subject makes it emotionally tough to sing.)

And once I do that,

Someone's going to rip it apart for me.

In fact, Shaun Groves himself is going to rip it apart for me,

As part of the class.

And, honestly, I'm terrified, . . .

(It's hard, as an artist, to let your work be exposed, especially when you've put so much of your soul into it.  What if someone really hates it?  What if you aren't really any good?  What if . . .?)

But I'm also excited,

Because I want to get better at this,

Because I love this,

Because it brings me joy.

If anyone's interested in taking Shaun Groves' online songwriting workshop,

There's still one session available tomorrow.

More may come up on his store in the future.

I highly recommend it! - Totally worth the time and money for any songwriter.

Updates on the CD:

I got two more songs recorded,

The accompaniment for the bonus song was pretty much finished last night (pending suggestions),

And I'm ready to record two more.

Three more after that need some work on the accompaniments,

And then I have four more that need major, major work on the accompaniments.

As to whether all thirteen (technically fourteen) tracks will get done by the end of August, that's still up for grabs.

I've been envisioning concepts for cover art, but haven't gotten too far yet with that,

Especially since I can't put too much together until I know how many tracks I'll have.

So, making progress . . .

Rather quickly, actually, this week . . .

But still a long, long way to go.

(Which reminds me of a Christa Wells song . . . sorry, phrases do that to me.)

Dad and I did get one song mixed, though.

I have to say that, even though the piano sound wasn't recorded stereo (two channels, right and left speakers),

Having my voice line up with the accompaniment was awesome!

Then with the bass line and the reverb -

It was almost like a real studio recording, but obviously not as good.

Still, I'm getting pretty excited!

That's one part of doing this CD-making thing that's good.

The closer I get,

The more excited I get.

Maybe more of that joy in music will be returning soon?

(Hopefully some joy in God will be returning, too . . . I'd take that over joy in music any day.)

Well, that's all I have for now.

Thanks for reading!


 

Slow Progress

I finally started recording last Wednesday.

I got through one song once,

Copied it to listen to it on a different computer,

Make sure everything was going alright.

I opened the file,

Pressed "Play".

Something didn't sound right.

The microphone was clipping.

There had been too much volume for the microphone to handle the way it was set.

The sound waves that should have been appearing as hills and valleys across the screen

Were chopped off on the bottom.

Only on the bottom.

The strange thing about that is,

Usually, when the sound is clipped

It is clipped on both the top and the bottom.

Dad was worried.

So, we set up a new microphone Wednesday night.

Ta-da!!!

I can't sing loud enough to clip this one,

And it has a boom, too!

(The "boom" is that pole that goes horizontally -

That means I'm a lot less likely to hit the stand with my arm while playing the piano!!!)

I was super excited.

Of course, Thursday was ridiculously busy.

I didn't get around to recording again until Friday.

Friday, I sang that same song that had clipped seven more times.

It took a couple of hours.

Then I transferred the files so Dad could listen to them.

He started listening to them yesterday,

Which resulted in a discussion about the accompaniment,

And time spent listening to various voices on my keyboard

(Most of which was spent by Dad . . . while I ate lunch).

I now have to add some sounds underneath what I already have,

Which is going to take another day of recording.

He finished listening to them this afternoon,

Which resulted in a discussion about how I was singing the piece.

(Apparently, I've been going between "talking in notes" and "singing", which sounds unnatural, and I need to pick either one or the other.)

Fortunately, however, he believes one of the recordings actually sounded pretty good,

If we can replace a section where I played the wrong chord.

So, to finish this one song, I need to:

1.  Replace the section where I played the wrong chord (which will require Dad's help).

2.  Record an extra layer of accompaniment while listening to the recording (which will probably take 4 or 5 tries to get right).

3.  Have Dad determine which accompaniment track sounds best.

4.  Mix accompaniment track with the rest of the recording.

5.  Listen to the mixed recording and come up with a flute part on the computer.

6.  Convince my amazing friend to come play the flute part for me.

7.  Determine which recording of the flute sounds best.

8.  Mix in the flute recording with the rest of the sounds.

(And that's not including downsampling and high/lowpassing or whatever it's called to get it into the proper format for a CD or .mp3 file - that part takes the least amount of time.)

Bet you didn't know that so much work went into just one song.

I sure didn't before I recorded my first album.

It sounds so much easier than that when you're listening.

After all, it only takes five minutes to listen to a song.

The really scary thing is, the time it'll take to do what I just mentioned

Is in addition to the hours spent writing the song,

Writing the accompaniment,

And practicing the song.

As much time as I've been spending working on music these past weeks, I am definitely starting to see it as a full-time job.

So,

One song not quite finished yet,

Seven more to go.

(Not even counting the five I'm not done with yet . . .)

It'll be a miracle if I get all of these recorded by Thursday of next week.

This whole process takes so much work,

It goes so slowly,

It's difficult,

At times tedious,

And it seems like it will never get done.

But, I suppose, life's like that.

Someday it'll all come together.

Someday . . .