"No matter where I am, your teachings fill me with songs." - Psalm 119:54 (CEV)
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Save Me from Myself
We were talking about it at Bible study a few days ago,
How we need to walk with Him,
How we need Him for everything,
For every single breath.
Where would we be without Him?
We know we need Him, too,
When things go wrong,
When we have no strength,
When we're sure we won't survive,
When life and weight and the pressing and the crushing just hurts too much.
That's when we know we need Him.
How He must love the way we run to Him during those times,
The way we look to Him,
The way we trust in Him,
The way we give it all up to Him
And rest in Him
Until He calms the storm
And we feel safe again.
And, oh, when we feel safe again!
Then we can go back to our lives,
We can work at our jobs,
Earn our money,
Put it all in the bank,
Maybe buy that new flat-screen TV.
We can love our family,
When we have time, of course,
As work is more important,
Since we need to make ourselves safe
By making as much money as possible.
We don't need God anymore,
So we ignore Him.
Or you could be like me -
You might plan to read your Bible first thing every morning,
But then you stay up late and the alarm buzzes too early,
You find yourself far too tired to get out of bed,
Or, in my case, far too lazy,
And the Bible-reading is put off 'til later.
You ignore God during the day.
After all, there's so much going on.
Classes, homework, studying.
Then, of course, there's the social life,
And, like too much of any good thing,
It can easily cause us to lose our focus,
Keep us even busier,
Take us away from our private time with Him.
If you're like me,
You don't find another minute for God until right before bed,
When it's time for a decent prayer
About all the important things you didn't have time to pray for earlier in the day
(Because you were too lazy to get out of bed,
Then you were to busy for God)
And you make it short because you realize that you don't have much time
Because you need to read your Bible,
Then hurry up and get into bed
So you'll be able to get out of it the next morning,
Ideally in time for some time in the Word and in prayer,
But more likely in time for the first obligation that can't be put off.
Yep, that's me.
When things are going well for us,
When everything's running smoothly,
We get so caught up in ourselves.
We start forgetting about God.
We start believing we don't need Him for every breath.
After all, we're doing fine on our own.
The laundry actually got done,
The stack of dishes is only half as high as it normally is,
The homework pile is no longer bigger than I am tall,
The to-do list is manageable,
Nothing's falling apart,
The world's not coming to an end,
How must He look at us now?
We think we know everything,
We think we have everything under control.
Is it like watching a child build a block tower that you know is going to fall?
Is it like watching a toddler stack up the rings and clap for finally getting them all to fit?
Does He laugh, lovingly, because we think we know so much,
But we really know so little?
For we are that child,
Doing all those silly things,
Trying to run before we can crawl.
Yet somehow He manages to love us anyway.
I prayed it last night,
"God, I'm probably going to get less than five hours of sleep tonight.
I need Your strength.
Help me get through tomorrow."
I prayed it again this morning,
After I actually managed to find the energy to get out of bed,
Even in time to read my Bible (!),
"God, I know I didn't get enough sleep last night,
And I have so much to do today.
So many people are depending on me
For so many hours.
Please give me strength.
I can't do this without you."
I actually tried it for once, for one small little thing,
Trusting Him when I honestly believe I could do perfectly fine on my own,
And, you know what?
Something crazy happened:
I'm hardly tired at all.
Most Wednesdays, I'm so exhausted by 2:00 that all I want to do is nap,
But I feel like I could stay up 'til midnight and still be fine.
Isn't that cool?
It's like a revelation:
When we trust God and not ourselves,
Everything just goes so much better.
Of course, we should already know this,
But it is so easy to forget.
I have some new lyrics for you today.
I wrote them after Bible study
As an additional reminder,
Something to keep me from forgetting how much I need Him.
I'll probably manage to forget anyway.
It was a nice thought, at least.
I'll just have to keep working on it.
Save Me from Myself
"I'm on the top,
In control of everything.
No, I don't need You right now.
I'm doing fine. Can't You see?
I've got it all
And I am confident that it will
Run easily and smoothly.
I'm in charge.
I've got all this stuff down.
You can come back when I need You,
But, for now, don't hang around."
And I know I'll think this way
As long as I feel safe,
Then when just one thing falls,
I'll run straight into Your arms.
It's like I have no direction.
All I've got's this foolish pride
And the desire to feed it -
That's what's killing me inside.
When did I stop believing
That I should love You in the sun
As much as I love You in the rain?
When did I start thinking
That I'm strong enough
To accomplish anything?
It's You in me
Who does it all,
For, on my own,
I know I would fall,
And still I ignore,
And still I take
All of the glory
That should go to Your name.
Well, God, I guess I will admit
That I'm not really in control of this.
I could use a little help.
Could You please save me from myself?
That's what I need right now.
To be saved from myself.
Please help me.
Now let this encourage you!
Go live for Him and in Him every moment!
(Not just when you need Him.)
(Yeah. Not easy.)
(I'll be struggling right there next to you.)
(Do it anyway.)
(It's worth it.)
The bold, italicized words are lyrics to the song "Save Me from Myself" by Mary Schieferstein, ©2011 Mary Schieferstein.
Linking up with Walk With Him Wednesdays at A Holy Experience today,
Because it really is all about walking with Him,
Especially when it's just as easy not to.
Check out these other awesome blogs also striving to walk with Him today! (links at bottom of post)