And because I fail every moment to live like I believe this.
It isn't something you do on Sunday mornings,
It's something that defines what you do every moment.
It isn't something you do because you think it's a good idea,
It's something you do because you have to,
Because you desperately want to.
It isn't about being in control,
It's about realizing who is in control
It's about realizing that you can't follow the rules.
It isn't about trying to be a good person,
It's about realizing that you are a horrible person.
It isn't about trying to fix yourself,
It's about realizing that you are utterly incapable of fixing yourself
And your only hope is undeserved, irresistible grace.
It isn't something you can be perfectly content without
Any more than you can be content with a lawnmower as a window fan,
And children getting their hands chopped off.
It's not an insignificant question,
It's the question of the meaning of life itself,
The answer to which defines who you are,
Whether you have an answer or not.
It's not something that you can get out of
Saying, "We don't know",
Or, "There are so many ideas, and we can't tell which one is right."
Either I wrote this blog post or I didn't.
Both options can't be true.
There is no middle ground,
No "highway option".
You have to decide what is true,
And what isn't.
It's not founded on human logic,
It doesn't make sense to the world.
Really, it's a tad bit crazy,
If you don't believe it, it seems like foolishness.
If you do, you find its source is a Wisdom deeper than you will ever understand,
And you will find that,
Despite many unanswered questions,
It makes more sense than anything you've ever known or believed.
It's not a happy, painless following of some "great moral teacher",
It's following One who was so Great and Perfect,
So in conflict with our natural desires,
That we put Him to death,
And so it makes sense that we, too should expect this treatment.
Indeed, to follow Him is to die.
It's not a nice little add-on to an already-good life,
The one thing you need to have it all,
It's something that changes everything -
What you believe,
And, slowly, what you live for,
Who you are -
Changes you until you consider everything as worthless
Compared to Him.
It isn't something that,
If you die and find out it isn't true,
You'll still be able to look back on your life and say it was worth it,
That the things you did were good in and of themselves,
That you had a good life.
It's something you stake your life on,
Something that changes you until you're so radical
That you give up everything to follow Him,
And, if it's not true,
Your entire life was a waste . . .
But you don't worry about it not being true,
Because, once the Truth has taken hold of you,
Every fiber in your being testifies to it.
It's nothing or it's everything,
And you either follow it with all you are
Or turn your back and walk away.
No middle ground.
No highway option.
You want the "easy way".
The "follow these five steps"
Or "give an hour of your Sunday morning and a few hundred dollars a year".
I want the easy way, too.
That's why I'm writing this.
I'm not called to be comfortable,
I'm called to be radical,
Because it's not a religion.
Now I need to live like it's everything.
Sorry, no reasons from me again. So busy and so tired I was up 'til 3 this morning. Feel free to share yours, though! I would love to read them . . . someday :) .
(Sylvia's already made it to 10,000! I only wish I had that kind of time! If only I didn't have to do homework . . .)
<a href="http://maryschieferstein.blogspot.com/search/label/10000%20Reasons" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8zkGH23srZ8/T2i3Bun0O9I/AAAAAAAABSw/8giPvnJmCPI/s320/10000ReasonsButton.jpg" /></a>Counting in community: